It always feels like all the wrong people die, but I think it’s because there are far more beloved people than there are bastards.

I don’t know if anyone will read this whole thing, and I actually really don’t care anymore if anyone does or not. These words have come from my heart but they are not very precious in the grand scheme of things. But I hope that if you do, especially if you’ve also lost your way, you’ll join me and take some pressure off of yourself this year. If you really love art then just try to enjoy it before you’re old and the arthritis makes it hard to hold an apple pencil. We might “make it” in our art careers, maybe our ideal audiences will eventually find us, but maybe they won’t. Your work only has to make sense to you, and maybe it Should only make sense to you. And your life’s work, the real entirety of it, encapsulates so much more than your artistic output. Happy new year.

3/3

(some light reflections on life since graduation and trying to learn to love art again) I graduated art school almost two years ago. I don’t know if I got what I wanted from it. Scratch that, I know I didn’t get what I wanted. I began college fresh out of the most traumatic years of my life. Those experiences shaped me, poured out of me, ripped themselves out of my body and into the real world in a way that did not make me a very good student or peer. I feel very sorry for all my amazing professors who had to put up with my late assignments, as well as the consequences of my deep stubbornness, and paralyzing perfectionism.

I think that regret, plus the pressure of graduating and needing to start my career, has weighed heavily on me for the past two years. My diploma is collecting dust in my closet, still in the folder it was mailed in. I haven’t been able to look at it. (It also definitely doesn’t help that I wasn’t even able to attend my graduation ceremony because of my first covid infection. the memory still bites. boo hoo I guess) When I started my degree (2019, pre-covid), I had a lot of big dreams about what my future as an artist would be like. Covid shattered those visions, and I’ve since come to understand how wide the gap between that version of my future self and my present self really was. I know I have talent because people have told me so, and I feel very loved and like a lot of people believe in me, but I haven’t been the kind of person who could utilize my talent very well.

All that is to say, 2025 was not a good year for me personally, but I think it was the year that I needed. I died one thousand times, and the last vestiges of my stupid ass ego died with me. (dramatic? maybe. but then again maybe you have to die a thousand times to understand it. or maybe growing up and getting real just feels that way for everyone) Ego and insecurity. They’re two sides of the same coin, both born out of the same experiences that gave me CPTSD. Though I hate how much they ruled my life, I know couldn’t have let them go any sooner than this. I needed to live a little life outside of school to really understand how to become the kind of person that I want to be. (If you’re younger me and you’re stubborn like me there’s something you should understand: all that pithy advice you don’t want to take is only going to make sense when you’re ready to take it. And then you’ll be the annoying person telling everyone that same advice… You really should make your bed every day though, just take my word for it.)

So what’s next? After a year where everything could and did go wrong, I’m not too keen on New Year’s resolutions. Instead I’m electing to run a series of personal experiments. Some you may see here, some you may not. It might be another year where I only have 4 things to show you all, or maybe I won’t post a single thing. I really don’t know. After art school I got to a point mentally where I don’t know how to have fun with art anymore. I’m still there. Like I said though, I’m stubborn. I still want to be an artist. I always have. Doesn’t matter what kind of artist, because I know I’ll eventually find the path that belongs to only me. So this year I’m going to give myself the breathing room to find my way back to that path, and hopefully I’ll love art again by the end of it.

2/3

(title) State of the Quest An illustration of me standing in a grassy field, watching a shooting star cross the night sky. Fireflies rise up out of the grass, casting a soft glow over the scene.

1/3 🏰 an update for the new year, thoughts on life since graduation, looking forward into the future 🏰

current level of unemployment: thinking about LOONA’s disbandment until i get upset

Ursula K. Le Guin - A Wizard of Earthsea
The attack of the Kargs

how long does it take to heal from a repetitive strain injury like seriously 😭😭😭

"We have to pull back on palestine support" "we have to pull back on trans rights" "Dems should be more centrist" EAT HOT ASPHALT YOU FUCKING LOSERS!!!

I don’t have anything smart to say, any particular analysis. I’m just deeply sad for the innocent people who will die for no reason at all and for the state of our country.

We are At War now, according to President Bush, and I take him at his word. He also says this War might last for "a very long time." Generals and military scholars will tell you that eight or 10 years is actually not such a long time in the span of human history - which is no doubt true - but history also tells us that 10 years of martial law and a wartime economy are going to feel like a Lifetime to people who are in their twenties today. The poor bastards of what will forever be known as Generation Z are doomed to be the first generation of Americans who will grow up with a lower standard of living than their parents enjoyed. That is extremely heavy news, and it will take a while for it to sink in. The 22 babies born in New York City while the World Trade Center burned will never know what they missed. The last half of the 20th century will seem like a wild party for rich kids, compared to what's coming now. The party's over, folks.

From Hunter S. Thompson’s ESPN page 2 column one week after 9/11.

Pick colors like a ceramicist, draw like an embroiderer, feel like a poet. What can make you a better illustrator is to understand how other craftspeople create their art

Ashanti Fortson | Illustration

…Our washing machine just broke and our financial situation is uhh pretty bad, so:

I’m available for illustration work!
ashantifortson.com
ashantifortson@gmail.com

I have an artist shop with my spouse @binglin.bsky.social:
seatoad.bigcartel.com

And I have a tip jar:
ko-fi.com/ashantifortson

Image is line paper with writing showing an English word followed by how it is written in the Cherokee language followed by how it is spelled and pronounced. The words are eat the rich and pronounced ahkeestee oowaynahee

Your Cherokee words for today.
The top word is English followed by how it is written in the Cherokee language followed by how it is spelled in English then how to pronounce it phonetically.

Swordsman

On February 28th, a local father was detained during a routine traffic stop. He was later transferred to the Farmville detention center, known for its inhumane conditions. Please help bring him home to his wife and 2-year old daughter. $7,000 is urgently needed for his bond. Give what you can— share if you can't!

El 28 de febrero, un padre fue detenido en un control de tráfico. Lo trasladaron al centro de detención de Farmville, conocido por sus condiciones inhumanas. Ayúdanos a reunirlo con su esposa e hija de 2 años. Se necesitan $7,000 urgentes para su fianza. Dona lo que puedas - ¡comparte si no puedes!

Hey everyone! A local org is raising funds to help reunite a father in ICE detention with his family. It would be amazing if this goal could be met by Father's Day, so he can spend it with his wife and two year old daughter.

Please give what you can and share!

secure.actblue.com/donate/noice...

social contract is dead dead dead, I fear

The phases of the moon shown as broken shells, with the full moon being represented as a hermit crab's newfound home. Below is an ornamental illustration of a pair of otter mermaids wearing crowns inspired from the silla kingdom, an open oyster shell held between the two otter. Golden fish and stars surround them. A small illustration of gratitude for my own health recovery.....!!

This Too Shall Pass.

First #artfight2024 attack!
For Unjulo ^^

Please help me rebuild my life after a major operation ): (total thyroidectomy). Everything I received from my gofundme has been exhausted by my surgeon fees, and now I still have to take calcium supplements, gauzes, cleaning supplies and thyroid hormone replacement

ah sometimes people do this to help out birds with their nests, I think 🪺

i love you moth roan

Illustration of John Egbert from Homestuck that I’ve rendered on top of a photo from my sketchbook. Behind the illustration you can see the surface that my sketchbook is laying on and my hand holding one side of the sketchbook so that it lays flat. John is on a planet that I can’t remember the name of (sorry) but it’s filled with clouds and checkerboard patterned hills. The clouds are big and fluffy and curled like how they are in the Homestuck comic. John is looking so very 13 years old here and is starting up at his surroundings with a look of awe on his face. Illustration uses limited color, shades of blue and an off-white color.

homestuck moment

People are real. Borders are not.

now with cool medieval lesbians ✨

tyyyy ^.^!!!

I hope all goes well ❤️‍🩹