the stars are air holes

I've never heard of Pressie before but I know one thing for certain: she's real

It's a chupacabra not a chupavaca!

Give it another eight years, you gotta learn patience

It's a great day to be alive and be yourself

Happy Thursday, Krystal

Every now and then they release a new Mario Kart

Yes they do, it's a form of goat therapy

You'll never know for sure until you don a jaguar mask and start a street fight with an old CEO

Your mom

That's right. Get that hog some knowledge and a steady paycheck.

I'm too old to be a skeptic now. The alien mummies are real. Bigfoot is real. The cosmic serpent is real. But the chupacabra? 100% fake.

I feel really bad for talented authors who want to make a career as genre novelists nowadays because they have a higher chance of being struck by lightning twice than getting a manuscript published

I don't remember it but it seems self-explanatory

EEG stands for

Elegant

Effervescent

GHair

a redpresentative, if you will

He just got stuck in that old man's cave for awhile

It turns out we all wanted something else to get us through this

Never. The Byzantine Empire, on the other hand...

Dried up alleged alien corpse in a satin lined coffin.

Unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. In My Lane. Focused. Flourishing

Petrification during Slumber

Petrification

You won't regret watching those 26 seconds

People think octopuses love October because they both begin with "octo" but the truth is that octopuses spend the whole month getting excited for Halloween because they are capable of giving out candy extremely quickly & efficiently.

Did not expect enthusiastic Citizen Kane hate

I've never seen Citizen Kane

Hey thanks you too

Shania Migraine

Me and the homie looking at you right after you suggest we steal the Declaration of Independence.