Honestly this tho

Oh man, seeing this board brings back so much Ed nostalgia for some reason

I am allowed to say no. My partner’s disappointment is their’s to handle, and I don’t have to fix it, even if people pleasing de-regulation is loud

The PDA is so real

I was just thinking about this. I kinda miss the toxic shit :/ the photos and the ‘spo :/

Glad to hear it’s not just me 💜 I’m sorry you experience that too :/

I deleted my 3Dtwt account soon after fuckhead took over, but sometimes I miss the triggering stuff over there :/

OK, the Xanax has kicked in, feeling a little bit more stable

Does anyone else get uncontrollable chills when they’re emotionally fucked?

We were doing so well. And now I’ve ruined everything

This is what I get

And I fucked it up again, like always

We had a whole conversation about me not dumping all over them with my feelings when they get hurt

And they asked me how they can support me and the answers I want to give them aren’t healthy ones

And there’s nothing I can do it fix it

I just feel like shit. Like a vaguely human shaped blob of shit

To anyone reading this, if you exist, this doesn’t make sense, I’m being vague with shit on purpose

And I told myself I wouldn’t do that again and now I’m locked in the bathroom word vomiting

And of course, even though they were the ones who got hurt I started crying because I was so angry at myself and so fucking just, scared that this was going to ruin everything

And then I’ve lost it, one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever been given

It might never come back

And there might not be anything. It just might be months or years of rebuilding trust

There’s nothing I can do to make it better. I just have to wait and see what they need from me to make it better.

Because I worked so hard to overcome trauma and for it just to rear up again

We’ll work it out, we’ve had schisms like this before, but this one feels so much deeper

And now all the trust we had has been fucked, and they aren’t going to trust me the same and it’s all my fault

Then at the last minute I fuck it up. Like always

Fuck, and it was going so well. I was getting over the trauma and it wasn’t affecting me and everything felt really good

Why do I try? I just know I’m gonna fuck up

Never mind this hasn’t happened in a long time, but this fuck up has the potential to really hurt someone and I just