only if you and gf can handle the floaties having bi flags on them!

We don’t have an illegal basement apartment + we handled it + is this supposed to be a joke bc it bombed

Pulp Fiction is written the same way that a smug child who just discovered racism would write a way too long Reddit post about how he was born in the wrong generation

so toxic they’re saying i’m transgieger. like the device that detects and measures radiation

my favorite time of year is when every fast food mascot’s mysterious irish relative shows up with a mint flavored offering for the masses

incredible

I think everyone should get one free surgery a year. doesn’t matter what it’s for you should just be able to chop something off or sew something on annually

did anyone else have their trans awakening while watching the fairly odd parents special where cosmo got pregnant

One of my lifelong dreams is to meet Abby Lee Miller and have her FaceTune the shit out of me in an Instagram post

queer nonprofit employee or nightlife performer which way Bushwick transsexual

a stat i always cite is the number of anti-trans articles in the press went from 60 in a year, to 7,500

being the only comedian at the open mic with my notebook covered in stickers is a hard burden to bear but someone’s got to do it

the duality of man (extremely organized folders in my computer/my extremely cluttered desk)

and yes my ass is still fat. hole pink too

screenshot of a portion of the linked epstein email To: Lawrence Krauss from: jeffrey E sent: wed 8/13/2014 6:35 pm subject: re: well, at least one woman can do math transgender [three spaces] probably

www.justice.gov/epstein/file...
holy shit

“2016 was the last time things felt good!” yeah I wonder why. This is a huge mystery to me and it has nothin to do with the president at all

when you laughing with bro but realize that it’s 5pm and your country is committing acts of war and and you just got a letter in the mail that says you have to sign up for the draft

‪based on the letter i got in the mail a few days ago and the news today ‬

cheers to another year of jerking off to weird porn and listening to french house music

the year is 2026. you live in New York City. your mayor is a young hot socialist. you’re gay and transgender. you have an amc a-list stubs subscription. you’re getting into hand stuff. your fridge is stocked with the Chik-fil-a nugget knock-offs from Costco. you’re me

sources are saying Eric adams has just been launched out of a big cannon gonzo style and sent to Turkey

fortnite outage so bad I’m using twitter for more than jerking off

approaching new levels of gay guy over here. had a dream that something awful happened and I said “they’re doing this to take away attention from Joni Mitchell” in my dream and woke up

thinking about the very drunk person who thought my drag name was “burp”

you gotta be a little gay or nonbinary to be genuinely funny that’s just how it works. if you’ve never thought “I could suck a penis” or “I could rock a mullet” then you’re probably not funny to people outside of morgan wallen listeners

maybe i’m too woke but whenever the punchline of a joke is “men don’t have vaginas!” isn’t that funny to me. not in an offensive way, but more of a “that’s it?” way. like that’s the best punchline you could come up with? there are many other things men do not have, such as humor

dear comedians and drag artists remember to self medicate with caffeine and avoid lactose

when i say i’m bisexual i mean i love my wife, will unicorn for a couple, and i’m attracted to every man over 25

"Wife missing a shoe? Hemorrhoids treated here."

This sign raises more questions than it answers

absolutely genius marketing going on for Stranger Things at JFK. they need to give a raise to the guy who said “let’s put a giant 5 on every single baggage claim”

had a dream that i was a contestant on a new show called “naked and dating” with jeff probst as the host. i wore a moomoo for my reveal and i instantly hated being naked in front of so many people. they let me go into the gay guy section and i kept making horse jokes