The “Calvin’s dad explains two types” meme, inspired by a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon. Clockwise from top left: 1) Calvin’s dad walks into frame to find Calvin trying to operate a record player. The dad says: “There are only two industries left in America: gambling, and fraud.” 2) The dad shows where the record goes, and how to turn on the player, while Calvin watches. Dad says “Derivatives? Gambling. AI? Fraud. Video games? Gambling. Social media? Fraud.” Calvin says “yeah”. 3) With one hand open palm up, Calvin’s dad cheerfully explains to Calvin out of frame below him, “The stock market looks like gambling, but it’s actually fraud.” 4) In bed in a dark room, Calvin clutches at his pillow, eyes wide in existential terror. There is no text in the panel.

What in the Elden Ring boss is going on in the background?

The Pope will never get an EGOT. He doesn’t have the range to get a Grammy, let alone a Tony. I don’t want a Pope who can’t transition from screen to stage and stay consistent. EGOTs are for titans of the field and the Pope doesn’t have it!

DMs are open

A picture big ass terrifying looking spider that probably wrote the article below that has the title “large spiders the size of your palm are popping up across the US. Here’s why you shouldn’t be afraid.”

Did a large spider the size of my palm write this?

Love that we’re just getting Armageddon groundhog updates now. The pedophile has spoken! Two more weeks of survival!

This is real

yeah man i'll circle back to you on that agenda item from yesterday's all hands in just a sec. our pedophile king just threatened to destroy a whole civilization

This is embarrassing for you

Moments away from finding out if this was prophecy

Life’s been a whirlwind but I’m so glad Emma is doing well!!

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

It’s Stefan’s and it’s not close.

Yearly reminder that April Fools is the day that people who aren't comedians show us why.

There is no ethical consumption of HBO’s Harry Potter series You can’t without supporting Rowling’s transphobic bigotry.

There is no ethical consumption of HBO’s Harry Potter series

We do not have to do this, folks.

I think we gave filming podcasts a fair enough shake and can stop now!

This is deeply embarrassing and tone deaf. Woof.

Every time

Vaxxed???

Tim & Eric: In our show we invented the Taargus Taargus as a cautionary tale.

Tech Company: At long last, we have created the Taargus Taargus from classic episode of TV Don't Create The Taargus Taargus

This dreadful book banning bill, H.R. 7661, has made it out of committee and into the House. It's time to call your reps.

It's deeply funny to me when the NYT has an article about anything normal like "Winter is over, how cities are prepping for spring" and some 60 year old with "NO DMS!" in their profile replies "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PEDOPHILES? WHY IS THIS NEWS?" Please hold 2 thoughts in your head at once, Susan.

I think the story here is the city officials who DID NOT respond

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Thanks! I also am not a fan. But we move forward!

Sounds good! Just have it to me by the end of the month

Andy, I’m gonna need to borrow about 450k if that’s ok

Thanks! Onto the next!