Sometimes I have to remind myself when my daughter is having a full blown hysterical meltdown/tantrum that she doesn't know how to control and regulate her emotions yet. I, however, do.

Parenting is kinda hard sometimes, but I'll be damned if I turn into a shitty Dad.

I'm sorry dude

Hey McDonalds, I'm not saying to bring back 24/7 breakfast, I get there's logistical issues with ordering food and prep and what not, but can we please start breakfast at 4 am? I gotta be at work at 5 am, nobody wants a damn cheeseburger this early in the morning.

My lovely wife surprised me with flowers at work today. Had to improvise a bit for a vase.

I need y'all to metagame focus on the other brackets. I really want to see what that would look like.

Too lazy to look for my hand guard/cut glove so obviously a blood sacrifice was given to the mandolin gods. Fucked myself up something good!

I could live to be a thousand years old and will never understand the math used in toilet paper advertising. Charmin's 32 rolls equals 134 rolls. Quilted northern's 32 rolls equals 244 rolls, but their 36 rolls equals 255?!

Yo, what's up with that shit? Had to delete and repost like 3 times yesterday.

Make Nazis Afraid Again!

Welp, I just sat around all day and didn't get selected. Time to blast some holes into paper. Remember friends, you too can arm yourself against tyranny.

Fucking Gucci baby

I got the jury duties tomorrow. Let's hope I can just get in and out so I'm not wasting my whole day there.

Hell yeah ✊🏿

This is true!! I'm not complaining about it.

Passed my AFO exam, went to the gun range and then checked out a new book at the library.

Today was a good day.

Bacon, brussel sprout, lemon gnocchi washed down with a jalapeno limeade and mezcal. This is why I'm fat

I just watched Wild Robot. It's much too early for me to be crying this much.

Why does this monorail at Disney world smell like a horse stable?

Every other social media platform is problematic and sucks turds these days. Guess this might be my new home.