I regretfully have decided to stop pursuing the title of "town bully" as I just got my ass kicked by a 3'5" man named Laurent at the local Walmart after i did some harmless lighthearted tease play on him typical of the town bully type

Cheesecake Factory vent check 5/24/25

some local church is having a clam bake this month but my wife wont let me go!

if you are a husband it is your responsibility to figure out how to pirate stuff for your wife. if you cant figure out how to get Wicked.2024.1080p.WEB.h264-ETHEL.mkv onto your plex server by friday night she is rightfully going to leave your ass.

Don't tempt me

Don't tempt me

dude I told you not to bring your girlfriend around here she smells like mcdonalds and makes the crew hungry for fries 🤬🤬

can't a guy jerk off in peace

Of course my soda enjoying ass is enjoying a soda right now

if someone is being insane in public or yelling at their kids or something you shouldnt intervene bc what if they're filming a gonzo movie or doing a social experiment. You wouldn't want to ruin it!

every time I feel sick or have a headache my family just assumes I haven't drinken enough soda. Dude I drank my soda! Sometimes even people who drank their soda are sick! Be kind to me!

this girl on the girl scout cookie wrapper is giving it her whole soul. respect to this girl.

IF IT'S GLUTEN FREE ITS NOT FOR ME IF IT'S GLUTEN FREE ITS NOT FOR ME!!!!

Wtf was up with this asshole

I hate these losers so much. every few months they crawl out of their stupid ass lab to say "things are getting worse" with their big ugly physical metaphor. Thanks for the info fuggos like I couldn't tell things were bad by going outside I needed a giant clock to tell me. Get a job!

Church is going to be so crowded today 😂😂😂 all those TEENS are gonna be so bored without their precious dance app they won't know what to do besides come to the lord!!

The shortest sad story - "no soda in the fridge"

So no Madame Web 2?

got kicked out of my local theater by a karen for yelling "OPPA SCROOGE STYLE" even though a lot of the people in the audience laughed

I hope the Hawk Tuah girl doesn't get in trouble for her crypto scam bc I want her to release a really cool Hawk Tuah Christmas song.

Americans rejoice as the Diarrhea Song goes into public domain, meaning it's now okay to sing in schools

spending my day with custody of my kids watching the "Top 100 Star Wars Parody Raps of 2023" and laughing our butts off

Dude.... I thought I knew you. I thought you were chaste...

joker

sometimes it's okay to lie about yourself if it makes other people feel good like sometimes I tell people "I was voted coolest guy in the city and I think you might be cooler than me"