Okay, that's a summary of my life so far; I'll divide it into separate posts over the next few days(or not)

Sooo

I'm 17 years old and I had to move in order to study at the public university I got into (by a miracle).

I live with 3 people, I've become a kind of jack-of-all-trades.

今日が私の最後の仕事の日になります。どんな日になるか、どううまく対応すればいいのか分かりませんが、このような機会を与えられたことにとても感謝しています。

真剣な仕事に携われたのは素晴らしい経験でした。自分が書いた文章一つ一つ、自分が手がけた、あるいは手伝った仕事一つ一つに、自分自身の一部が残っていると信じています。本当に素晴らしい経験でした。

Aside from that, I've become more sentimental, I've learned to interact, I'm still striving to be a better person, I'm less ashamed of being myself.

Which brings me to another point: this irritates people; you can't be yourself.

My degrading situation is that I can't choose the degree I want, there's about a 60% chance my plans will fail, and I could lose everything I have by playing the dice at the wrong time.

I'm writing here to report my situation (I'll be using this site again to vent).

I'm whole, I'm stable, I'm relatively well, of course, not everything is perfect

But

I'm bored.
I don't have good enough reasons for this, but I feel bad about it.

AND MORE. A daily harvest of these sunlit micro-tomatoes, which go on to prove their heritage by micro-splitting. 🌱🍅

I still don't know exactly who I am, but I think I'm patient enough to find out.

朝っぱらから音出せないので、代わりに久々に電子楽器ちゃんを弾きました。汗だくだけど楽しかった。こちらは幼児の時に始めたもので今はレッスン受けてません。教則本も課題曲も先生もなしで、好きな曲を下手なまま自由に弾けるのが大人の楽器の良いところだと思います。

Helloo againn

Oooo soo cuteeeee

I made this drawing with my brain turned off, I found it interesting, it looks like the cover of an indie music album

I don't know if I should start the offensive from scratch meh

Now I'm back to square one.

I lost myself in music, I lost myself in people. I think I left pieces of myself everywhere I went. I became an empty vessel with a hole, copying and adapting and discarding, and I still search for something I don't know what it is. I let things shape my personality and my appearance.

I lost sight of my goals. I spent 489 days trying to be something, and in that, I lost myself.

The days haven't been so good for taking photos...

a sky full of rain clouds