Fair’s fair.

Holy shit.

But am I WRONG?

Dillon Brooks is the Chris Gaines of Marcus Smarts.

She does! But she’s a chest dog too sometimes!

It was the thing they most agreed on.

For a cat, the chest is merely the lap of the torso!

Whoever came up with the Devil Wears Prada 2 branded Diet Coke cans shattered the backboard on that slam dunk.

Thanks!!

Happy to!

I think it's nice and good.

Here is a little joke that is extremely Bluesky-coded and will maybe not stick around in my act past this fall. Thank you to my mother-in-law for all her skull-shaped gifts over the years!

The Dean Winters commercials for Allstate are so unsettling. That character would eat human flesh without batting an eye for SURE!

Thank goodness.

Isabel Hagen Stand-Up: Marriage, Camping | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon YouTube video by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

"Wonder is the fear of regret. Regret is just knowledge."

NYC Councilman Chi Ossé arrested while protesting woman’s eviction in Brooklyn BEDFORD STUYVESANT, Brooklyn (PIX11) — Council Member Chi Ossé, who represents District 36, was arrested in Brooklyn on Wednesday morning, video posted by his office to social media shows. Th…

Outrageous. @chiosse.bsky.social was protecting one of his neighbors from eviction, as a result of deed theft — a plague in Central Brooklyn right now. There was no reason for NYPD officers to roughly throw him to the ground. It sure doesn’t make anyone safer. Release him now.

Hahahah thank you!

It was cheating to say this to a DC crowd.

Hahaha!

I believe I’ve said that at some point and that idea might make it into the eventual special hahaha.

Here is a little joke that is extremely Bluesky-coded and will maybe not stick around in my act past this fall. Thank you to my mother-in-law for all her skull-shaped gifts over the years!

April 26th, 2pm, Books of Wonder, New York City with Sophie Morse and Josh Gondelman. RSVP at the link in bio!

Come by to @booksofwonder.bsky.social on April 26th to catch myself and Sophie chatting to @joshgondelman.bsky.social about our new graphic novel! It should be a lot of fun!

RVSP here: booksofwonder.com/blogs/upcomi...

Thank you!

No doubt.

The Dean Winters commercials for Allstate are so unsettling. That character would eat human flesh without batting an eye for SURE!

You’re welcome! Just saying what’s true!!

I love him and am glad to see him thrive!!!

I was extremely locked in tonight! But I was off my game!

Hahahah extremely fair!

That’s right.