Andrei Kanchelskis
Fabian Barthez
Diego Forlan

Can I just add Harry Kewell to the tune of Daddy Cool?

Francis Benali
David Ginola

Pretty proud of LinkedIn Demeanour but now it’s too late

The Striker Harry Kane: The Day Before You Came

Other footballers go well with Abba songs.

Alan Shearer: Chiquitita
John Carew: Waterloo
Marlon King: Dancing Queen
Dimitar Berbatov: The Winner Takes It All

Osvaldo Ardiles
Signed for the Spurs from a team in the Argentine
It all went fine

Then came the Falklands
They loaned him out for a bit to Paris St Germain
Farewell Tottingham

More of a Lady Madonna vibe for me, Clive.

Liam Rosenior
P45 when he’s barely sat down in the chair.
Life isn’t fair.
LinkedIn demeanour.
Losing five on the bounce and now he’s thrown out
Without care….

Top footballers whose names you can sing to the tune of Eleanor Rigby.

Martin Dubravka.
Terry McDermott
Kevin de Bruyne
Paolo Di Canio
Marco Van Basten

Fuck it, I’ll take the Chelsea job. I only want 100K a year. And the money saved can go on some actual coaches. I’ll just be on the touchline doing concerned crouching in tight trousers like Jeremy Kyle used to do when he was haranguing our most vulnerable citizens to death for that sweet tv wonga.

Raiders of the Lost Ark
(1981)
Dir. Steven Spielberg

“I would've won Vietnam very quickly."

We’re talking generational levels. Kate. Amy. Billie H. Adrienne…

“Dear Sharon. Please let me do you up the Gary. Yours, Johnny Boy.”

"Click Clack Symphony" - RAYE (LIVE on The Late Show) YouTube video by The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Fucking hell, she’s just incredible.

youtu.be/_J6Pz7z3nUA?...

It’s not the worst thing I have seen in Penarth. That would be the minibus containing a family of three generations on a Gavin and Stacey tour. All wearing GnS T-shirts.

Shout out to the guy sat outside the doctor surgery biting from a block of red Leicester cheese in one hand and holding a half eaten baguette in the other hand.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turner for me, Clive.

As far as football fans go, le Tiss dropped dead on day 1 of the pandemic.

That way we can remember his godlike talent, and not…whatever the fuck this is.

If you give cocaine to salmon they'll divide it up and sell it. They already have the scales.

This is like when Mick Channon got caught screaming at Bamboozle when he got the bonus question wrong

Sexual encounters with Peter Beardsley on the Goodies triple tandem.

Fishtits, fishtits, you’re my fishtits.
You can give it to me with your underwater bits….

Tom Jones follow up to Sex Bomb sold poorly.

He nearly ran me over which didn’t help…

Shout out to the bloke* who shouted out “you stupid prick” at the cyclist who jumped a red light on his bicycle at a black spot where there are still plenty of flowers marking the spot where a kid got killed doing the exact same thing a fortnight ago.

*Even if that bloke was me.

I heard recently that it’s very rare clubs pay these contracts out. There’s all these stipulations - a bit like the dole like you have to prove you’ve been applying for other manager jobs in the meantime etc.