I have been battered

Thanks friend I appreciate that. May your knives always be sharp

My life savings depends on Sean Penn eventually showing up and putting out a cigarette on Grogu

Gas, confusion, or both

Asking "is there a doctor in the house" at a Kentucky trump rally is comedy in it's purest form

Hey does my head look really big right now

I think i know where Ben Shapiro got his new eyebrows

Should I do Mike Nolan next or Donny

Sassy the Sasquatch with a doobie

Oi Donny

My dad enabled the feature on his phone where it talks nonstop, and pressing buttons does absolutely nothing. 10/10 love the new punishment app.

Is this good

there's a new trend among young people called "microliving" they close their eyes for a few seconds and experience a rich and fulfilling life from start to finish in their minds. birth. friendship. love. heartbreak. joy. loss. grief. death. but how does this affect their productivity at work

This can't be the right game

I'm getting word that leftist and right wing voters are [checks notes] ...jacking off to hockey

heading out to pick up a couple meatball subs

she just got frame mogged by a shih tzu

There's something wrong with my doctor

Whale watching is bullshit. And I'm not saying that just because a whale breach made me spill hot chili all over my balls

Requiem for a Dream (2000)

Do the gambling sites have odds of him dying on the toilet

Getting mad at an ex girlfriend because I imagined her buying me a leather jacket with a Sloppy Joe name tag sewn on it

My girl warming up some hot pockets

Pam Bondi, covered in her own shit, is arguing that she has not in fact shit her pants.

They are saying Kid Rock handed his Grammy to lil’ Kyle Rittenhouse during the halftime show.

(Not true. Kid Rock has never won a Grammy).

“he put tropical trees on the field”