Only place I can think of that is when Carl Barron says poopoovalve. Otherwise it was poo and wee baybee

Loud stereo system blasting “Cars”, except instead of Gary Numan it’s Randy Newman and the synth riff is played by a brass band and the B section has a rollicking piano over it and it’s on repeat and you can’t turn it off or escape the room

really whiffed on 'no personality means nobody will find a reason to dislike me' idea

watching district 9 for the first time since it came out and remembering my mate when we walked out of the cinema 'so keen for the sequel!' brudda

Love crazy people. When the pub I used to work at was on the market this guy with a very stained shirt told us 'thinking about buying this place, but considering my options' saw him at a different pub a few weeks ago equally stained yelling about how to cook a steak to random people eating dinner

when I was younger and didn't realise how imprisoned you could get I'd always go in for the 'I'll give ya $100 to let me play ten more minutes'

sitting at the rsl at 4am and listening to 300 pokies all get locked at the same time. beautiful noise.

Would be the only way to do it at a club, I used to lock them just to get rid of 1 bloke in a room where I could see everyone. 'ah yeah mate they just lock up automatically at 4am'

Very zen Iain. Like making sure the Metadata and cover art on my ipod classic was perfect in 2011, truly blissful, I've lost my way

Lmao

Went to Turkey to get a hair transplant and the guy kept pretending to give me hair and pulling it away when I thought it was on my head

learning about new drinks

somethin in my apartment smells like meat. anyone come in here and butcher an animal whilst I was at work tonight?

Bro I love this one so much more than the one I always get calling TAB/Keno at work, even if it strongly reminds me of Microsoft golf 95

don't mind it, love a sticky beak, but that's gotta be a crazy loud conversation inside that car

sittin here at the club having a beer thinkin about people with absolutely thumping car sound systems taking Bluetooth phone calls and you get to hear about their dinner plans or whatever when you're waiting to cross the street

A catalogue listing for a plumbing component: Draw Off Cock Washer

Telling another cowboy to stand down:

lol

first interaction with cutting off a regular at new pub, love the line 'I'm a regular, what ya should've done is said, you can have one more round, then ya leave'

Pretty weird that the thing I should've done is what they want to happen, anyway, no big fella! Have a good evening

Was talking to some old boys tonight and they were talking about their sons putting on bets and mentioned the blazers spurs game and said trail blazers and I was like 'i think it's just the blazers' what a fool I was

celebrating new job with buying a stupid amount of McDonald's, looking forward to putting half of it in the fridge because I don't smoke weed anymore

It's not my fault God blessed me with the three to five beer capacity bladder, just so happens you gotta leave a place after roughly so many

that thief is shitting blood 2nite

big fan of getting in the Uber and needing to take a huge piss

Aw

The Newcastle line trains putting in power outlets really helped the not needing a six pack hidden in the bag cope mechanism

Two more: airforce one, the fugitive, Harrison Ford double feature

Me and my deeply stoned buddy explaining the plot of Small Soldiers to another friend who not only had never heard of it, but actively seemed afraid of the concept

the prince has joined the 27 club, should've known from the shape of his head it would end this way