Ironically all of the people who wear “don’t California my Tennessee” shirts are about to get hit with the most California shit ever: $7 a gallon

Don’t mix 2% milk with Lowfat if you like your asshole to be intact

My toxic trait is putting 2-foot balls of tinfoil in the microwave

I just know they were all stroking their shit when they were coming up with this

Sometimes work pisses me off so bad I don’t leave until I kill a bird in the parking lot

I asked my gf if this is true and she couldn’t make up her mind

I dip my joints in grease and soot before smoking them

IF YOURE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND CHEATING THEN YOU PROBABLY ARENT DICKING HER DOWN WELL ENOUGH. TRY HARDER

I’d probably like electronic music if it wasn’t so fucking terrible tbh

Ok @squatlobob.bsky.social this one’s funny you gotta admit

Every waking moment

Cool man 👍

Nuclear war is inevitable if we have another Brat Summer type trend this year. Brat Summer was one of the top three reasons we are where we are right now.

I showed the comic strip to the guy next to me on the bus and he thought it was kinda funny

DIVA DOWN

Pete Hegseth shared cruise missile schematics with me via an unsecured cuneiform tablet

Just rawdogged a flight like David Puddy fr

🤣🤣🤣

This was probably funny af in 1946

Ohhhh ok that makes sense

Please explain this in Infinity Blade terms?

a person in a black cape stands in a dark room ALT: a person in a black cape stands in a dark room

CAWWWW CAWWWW

a white skull with black eyes and white teeth is against a black background . ALT: a white skull with black eyes and white teeth is against a black background .

I meant range not series idk what’s wrong with me

so funny when somebody is talking about “spoilers for the new Star Wars show” like we don’t know that no matter what happens we know that the story will display a wide series of events that ultimately lead up to Luke and Leia kissing on the mouth

Bro if you have like 2k followers on this app ur an enlightened demigod

Our first rhubarb in office

So RFK is gonna be at the top of that autist list right?

Can anyone call a Fatwah on somebody or can it only be the Ayatollah
#fatwah

Where the Slime Live

A timid minion in the forest looking up at the camera before getting his face blown off with a shotgun

Hey guys