Scrod is an inherently funny word

"Hey, if you're feeling like life has passed you by and you're too old to start something new, remember that John Brown was 55 before he killed his first pro-slavery settler in the Kansas Territory. It's never too late to follow your dreams."

just me

authormillyphilips: "Once I bought a timed ticket for the Georgia Aquarium for the wrong time and I went up to the ticket counter and I asked if I could get it corrected and the guy who worked there said time is a meaningless human construct and you are only bound to it if you choose to be. So that was a great customer service experience."

"Say Perhaps To Drugs" in sharpie on a yellow brick wall.

VERY COOL PERSON: It's four-twenty, you know what that means?

ME: Hell yeah! [starts shoving blackbirds into a pie]

Rip, im so sorry

We like to joke around on blusky.com but in all seriousness, use lube readily and safely for all partners. Even beetles.

Default winking emoji from Google kitchen with what appears to be a Rose Chafer beetle on the winking emoji's face

Headline from BBC Wildlife Magazine. It reads: why do cockchafers have such weird feathery antennae? There's a picture of a cockchafer, a very cute beetle with hand antler things going on on its antennae.

Pretty sure it's in the name.. if I'm lucky.

Big Bird is still a chick. Bro's gonna be like 20 feet tall as an adult.

Plague doctor pole dancer drag king called Cuntamination.

A flatscreen display on a "smart" water fountain, demanding to be reconnected to the internet.

In 1999, I was playing a decker in Shadowrun, and tried to distract a guard by hacking a water fountain to overflow, and my GM said "why would a water fountain be on the network? That's fucking stupid. No you can't try."

Well it's 2026 and I just want you to know, Phil, that I FUCKING CALLED IT!

dont need a needoh when you have pitting edema from a bone bruise

I Am The God Of Your Children. I Am The Final Parent. Hi, friends! Today, I’d like to talk to the grown-ups. I know it’s not easy raising children. Looking after little ones is a lot of work, and sometimes you just need a moment to breathe. So you plop y...

theonion.com/i-am-the-god...

i agree with this but it's also like

cruel but obviously untrue: funny
cruel but i'm unsure: hurtful
cruel and obviously true and i already know: funny again

I bring a sort of Forbidden Vibe to InternalServerError that Rate Limit Exceeded don't really like

trying to post through it rn

If He Puts His Hands On You Cut Them Off T-Shirt | LookHUMAN Our t-shirts are made from preshrunk 100% cotton and a heathered tri-blend fabric. Original art on mens, womens and kids tees. All shirts printed in the USA. This feminist inspired design features eve...

I have a shirt that scares my 5yo so much they won't be in the same room with me when I wear it.
The shirt in question:
lookhuman.com/products/306...

still

Im so proud of this

scratch chin

A screen grab of a headline from some place called "mongabay". There's a picture of forested hills with rivers? From above? I dunno. The headline reads: scientists can't agree on where the world's forests are.

Is it, is it because they can't see the.. they can't for the.. Because.. something is.. is in the way?

played the game like ten times then read my comment. it was pretty obvious but still smug

If you haven't peed in a while, maybe go pee. It's life improving.

still mad. back in the uk

friend shaped

"There she is!!!" by SamBakZa was posted 22 YEARS AGO today on @newgrounds.com. Happy Anniversary to Doki and Nabi!

Benjamin Franklin meets the Centipedes in My Vagina meme format: "Papists? On MY Supreme Court?" It's more likely than you think. FREE SC CHECK!

I made this several years ago, and it's surreal to me how much more than just a shitpost it is now.

it goes without saying,