14 years, 2 kids, countless trials, tribulations, and triumphs, and now this. It's like she doesn't even know me.

Anybody watching the ARIAs?

Enjoying some Guzman and/or Gomez

I feel dirty for having watched that

Trying to explain to my 11 yo son why I'm supporting the convicted sex offender

Need to shift Israel into the AFC. Try pulling that shit in the streets of Tehran before an away match against Persepolis FC.

Could be worse, everyone could have gone to Threads

Broke: The Somerton Man
Bloke: The Summernats Man

TGIF

Good mate, and you?

Recalling an old work colleague who mistook one boomer co-worker for another and when corrected said, "I don't know, all you white people look the same." Hope you're well, Jimmy Ng.

Don't forget to put your round 1 NRL tips in for the 2024 season

We went for the less light, light grey ones

Her: Which of these two tiles do you prefer for the bathroom?

Me: I think the light grey ones would look good.

Her: No

All the worst mfers having the best day

Banger

If I were a tradesman, I would simply show up on time. Alternatively, I would message my potential customer explaining I had been delayed and communicate a new mutually agreeable time.

🫡

You must do this if you DON'T want Indigenous Australians to have a say in policies that impact their lives

If you are still undecided on how you will cast your vote in tomorrow's referendum, don't forget to write: "YES" for 'yes, I don't know' on the ballot paper.

Gonna smash up the shitter with a sledgehammer tomorrow if you're not busy

I appreciate that you're frustrated, and this was not the outcome you were hoping for, but if you reacquaint yourself with Part 3 section 2.5.1 to 2.5.3 of the contract, you'll understand why I don't give a fuck.

Sure, twitter sucks but where else are you seeing these gems

Can't park a car to save myself at the moment. Poor approach angles and distance perception. Massive slump.

Can't imagine how much rooting Hugh is getting up to

Wake up, drink double macchiato,

When I was a teenager, my barber would occasionally ask to be paid mid-cut so he could duck down the TAB to put a bet on. Hope you're well, Wazza.