Why don’t you report cents on tax returns?

Because nobody likes change.

u can’t write controller without a troll

i brought a scale into court…

…to have a trial balance

did u hear about form 404?

it can’t be found.

i love it!

have you seen sweeney todd? it’s shear genius.

for halloween i’ll put up a spider web…

…of tiered partnerships 👻

you’re telling me meta doesn’t rhyme with beta?!?

maybe i’ll start a fitted sheet business

those things never fold

its fine, my axe is deductible

...because you can't spell taxes without an axe

you know what they say about launderers...

they clean up

how did the accountant propose?

with an engagement letter

the only crunches i'm doin nowadays are numbers

im fine

i would like some emotional support mochi

oh gawd, someone stop me, i’m looking at treadmill desks

thankfully, most don’t ship to hawaii

you’re telling me i have to follow ALL the tax laws?!?

i use my back door as my front door. it’s an adjusted entry.

a skunk’s only asset is one scent

who is an accountant's best friend?

a 10-key they can count on

did you hear about the accountant in prison?

he's really into that one cell.

it’s like every couple that claims “irreconcilable differences” is unaware of the reconciliation discrepancy account in Quickbooks

this excel file is kind of a sheet show

you're telling me i have more work to do?!?!

marijuana growers always file joint returns

i’m fine.

im at the point where the deadline is too soon and yet not soon enough