I Don’t Deserve Companionship (Yet I Want it All the Same)
Metal_Gear_XANA
Summary:
After years of assuming he is dead the Blue Lions are reunited with Dedue. Sylvain cherished the friendship he had with him, but knows it would be for the best if they don't rekindle it. After all Sylvain is afraid of forming genuine relationships. And Dedue deserves better.
Written for the Syldue Fanzine, 'Let Them Talk!'
Yes, that is exactly the reason why he is avoiding him. Not because he’s unsure how to approach someone he grew to care about deeply during the academy days. Who, him, the guy who can approach anyone with a suave smile and easy-going mindset? Nobody can intimidate him; he’s one of the only people to challenge His Highness’ ridiculous suicide crusade. So of course if he wanted to reconnect with Dedue he could with ease! He can do it now, obviously! It is just… just…
Why kid yourself when you have been doing that all your life? You’re afraid to approach Dedue because you’re afraid of having a genuine relationship with someone. When people try to get to know the real you, you panic and avoid them at all cost. You push them until they trip over and can’t get back up, unless you reach out to help them. When you became friends with Dedue back then you were mortified that you continued down that track. How many times did you beg for something to end it, because you were too afraid to push him away, because you respected him and knew he deserved better? Then you got what you wanted: he’s missing, presumed dead.
'I Don’t Deserve Companionship (Yet I Want it All the Same)'
archiveofourown.org/works/74155141
Written for the Syldue fanzine @sylduezine.bsky.social~
AM, one-shot; Dedue reunites with the Blue Lions. Sylvain does not wish to reconnect, for he doesn't know how to deal with genuine relationships.