This isn’t even bollocks to make people book, there are literally three tickets left.

Imposter red poster I’m wearing a metallic blue leotard with PlayStation controller on my head

Very few tickets left for this at Machfest, the best festival in the world! May 2nd @ 8pm

machcomedyfest.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

Chestnut horse with white blaze hanging out in a hedge

Double Olympic dressage medallist Bella Rose is now in her 20s, very retired and living like the noble queen she is.

So Truss and Sunak an Johnson were bad but Starmer was good even though you believe all that goes for any PM. Gotcha.

If I added up all the time I'd spent waiting on my local railway platform for delayed trains over the last decade I'd probably blow my damn brains out.

Six out of the next twelve trains to London from my station are cancelled. I should be able to just get the 11.50 but instead I will have to get there for the 11.05 and just PRAY that isn't cancelled last minute too. This has happened SO often for eleven years.

the following feed isn't in chronological order either

When asked this week why he doesn't turn up to the Clacton business board or do other constituency work, his spokesperson said this week 'he makes personal donations to local charities and writes a column for the local paper'. THAT'S NOT WHAT HE IS PAID TO BE AN MP FOR.

She's QUOTING Harris.

Kamala Harris cites concerns about trans athletes in her book The Trump campaign attacked Harris over her positions on transgender rights. She says they were misconstrued.

in her latest book, she talks about being attacked by republicans saying “kamala is for they/them”, and says they got it all wrong- that she “agrees with concerns expressed(…)we have to take into account biological factors(…)when we determine who plays on which teams”

GOOD, coz you'd fucking vote for him.

Starmer is not in this image.

polanski is just holding starmer to the same standards starmer held sunak to. i can't understand why labour thought they'd get a different set of rules.

The Dems had four years to throw Trump and collaborators in jail and they didn't do it, I don't believe they'll do it the next time they have the chance either.

Under Biden pro-Palestine protestors were arrested and beaten while Trump remained free 👍

My true colours!!!!

Starting to think that getting in to government with absolutely no plan is bad, actually.

congrats to nadine on her transition x

Fuck it, Dennis Skinner interim leader, why the fuck not heh heh

I fully DID NOT BELIEVE that Starmer would go before the May elections but it would be PEAK Banter Timeline if he resigned now and the May elections took place amid a leadership race. "No, not now, the nation needs stability" oh come on, we definitely don't have that, bring on the banter!

absolute legend

Eight years since my masterpiece Central London parallel park. Bow down to your god.

"Errrrrrm so you agree with Zarah Sultana calling Starmer a liar? That means you agree with LEE ANDERSON, erm, checkmate!"

Yeah I do agree with him on that. I agree that Starmer is a fucking liar. It doesn't mean I also agree with Lee Anderson that lefties are upset by him eating a Full English.

Whit EM @whittyrem.bsky.social - Follow Back This is how I found out Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social • 1m "Francis, Pope Francis, known as the Pope, very important guy, big fan of mine, he passed away. He passed away. In the Catholic church he's the main guy, met him, big fan. He said "Mr President" he said "President Donald, you are doing such great work" He loved tariffs. He passed away"

Happy one year anniversary xxx

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A share of merch sales will go to the Sandy Hook families, which will be the first time they get any money since they filed this lawsuit eight years ago.

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Heard there's a scene in the Michael Jackson movie where a kid tries to seduce him after a concert and Michael says "No. No thank you!" and just moonwalks away.

most people rejected his msg "michael jackson is dead so the kids are safe" people: "shut up" They hated Jesus because he told them the truth.

m

Change starts here Join over 500,000,000 people creating real change in their communities.

change.org petition to get me reinstated to the Michael Jackson movie subreddit.

screengrab showing that i'm banned

this is censorship

the MJ movie reddit telling me to get fucked for slander

HE IS DEAD THO WTF IS THIS SHIT

lol got banned from the Michael Jackson movie Reddit coz I posted "glad to see children are safe to see this movie just as they are safe now that Michael himself has passed away".