If we’re splitting the bill and I see that you’re a 10% tipper, I’m forced to become a 30% tipper who isn’t going to go to a restaurant with you again 💕

PSA for employers in 2025: Don’t Mind The Gap

If the candidate has background experience that qualifies them for the role and their interview ticks the boxes of who you want in this position, the fact that they didn’t work for 8 months 5 years ago is equal parts irrelevant and none of ur business

Check out my list on Amazon

If you’re able, please consider picking up an item or two!

www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

We’re sharing a teacher’s wishlist every week during back to school season - today’s list is from a special education teacher in New Jersey who could use some support in building her classroom to best support her students and their unique needs this school year.

If the magic school bus could drive around my brain and figure out where all the serotonin went that would be greaaaaat

Check out my list on Amazon

www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

We’re sharing a teacher’s wishlist every week leading up to back to school. This week’s teacher, Mrs. Diaz, is a first year special education teacher who needs help creating an engaging and calming classroom for her students. If you’re able, please consider picking up an item or two from her list!

I need to be home by 7 so I can sit in my chair for two hours before hopping into bed promptly at 9 pm where I will spend the next five hours looking at the same three apps on my phone and thinking about how I really should be sleeping, I’m sure you understand ❤️

Check out my list on Amazon

www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

We’re sharing a teacher’s wishlist every week leading up to back to school - here’s the list from this week’s teacher, Amber, who is a preschool teacher in a title one district serving kids from local homeless shelters. If you’re able, please help us clear her list!

Oh, you like the bright patterned sweatshirt I’m wearing, a sweatshirt I bought knowing it would get attention? *pukes*

I’m a fun combination of really wanting the attention until I get the attention and then turning into a sweaty trembling puddle because I simply do not know what to do with the attention I previously thought I wanted?

Millennials love saying that something lives rent free in their head as if it is a bad thing but really just the concept of not having to pay anything for rent is frankly quite titillating so we just keep saying it to keep the vibes right despite everything being an absolute fkn nightmare lolz

Check out my list on Amazon

www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

We’re sharing a teacher’s wishlist every week leading up to back to school - this week’s teacher works at a socioeconomically disadvantaged high school in a predominantly immigrant community. If you’re able to pick up an item or two off her list, please help us clear it!

Teacher? Got it.

Surgeon? Roger that.

Bus Driver? Love that for you.

Chief Computational Analyst and Metrics Development Strategist? Stopped listening 30 seconds ago bud but I see what you did there. Don’t worry 007, secret’s safe with me 😉

If you tell me your job title and I don’t immediately understand what it is you do for a living, I’m going to go ahead and assume that you’re intentionally being vague and that you’re probably a spy.

“You’re not doom scrolling, you’re hopequesting. You need those tiny pieces of joy from seeing friends and strangers share their art, their good news, their wacky unique selves. We need light to live. And we find it in each other.” - @aaroncorwin.bsky.social

Need a job so I can afford health insurance. Can’t go to the doctor because the doctor’s working hours are the exact same as mine. #bless

“NO” because that’s what you’re just supposed to say when offered drugs and “THANK YOU” because, in addition to being terrified of the concept of drugs, I was *also* terrified of being rude

“No THANK YOU. No THANK YOU. No THANK YOU” 7 year old me would chant on repeat, fully prepared to turn down any drug dealer whose business strategy focused on giving out drugs for free to children in grocery store parking lots as my DARE officer had described—

'Hello human, nice to meet you'

The grow up and swing to the right trope has happened to me in approximately ZERO instances apart from my interpretation of the characters in the hit musical Rent. These people are disasters.

Used to be you could stir-fry rice and it would go all over the stove because the sides of the pan were too shallow. Can't anymore. Because of wok.

MEGA: Make Empathy Great Again

I aspire to be a modern day Johnny Appleseed except instead of planting trees it’s just me handing out earphones to people who think it is okay to watch videos on their phones at max volume in public spaces 💕

How… pedestrian 💅

If you build it (sandwich with chips in it) they will come (friends who have pools)