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Posts by Homesquirrel 🫐

My relationship with Big wasn’t the only thing I blew up that day. At the Trinity test site I detonated the first plutonium bomb, unleashing a 22 kiloton blast. Had I become Death, destroyer of worlds? Meanwhile uptown, Samantha had her hands full with her own “Manhattan project”

1 year ago 11373 1527 114 36

I am going to combine all the microplastics stored in my blood brain barrier into one macroplastic

1 year ago 0 0 0 0
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I lost it at the onion claw machine which sounds like you would find it at a rich person’s house where the wife only gives kids carob instead of chocolate

1 year ago 510 87 19 59
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Look at this LOGO IT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN

1 year ago 4813 1022 48 13

I honestly think we are experiencing the end of the internet as those of us born in the 20th c understand it. Smaller, siloed communities like discord servers and newsletters will persist, but the idea of the global public square is dead, as is “the information superhighway.” VCs killed it.

1 year ago 4545 1080 109 74
A girl and a dog look at each other lovingly. Text reads, "you are the greatest and I love u so much wow time for a kiss imo".

A girl and a dog look at each other lovingly. Text reads, "you are the greatest and I love u so much wow time for a kiss imo".

Dogs keep saying this to me?

1 year ago 331 31 1 0

doctor: i know what you need. there’s a great clown in town that will cheer you up.

pagliacci: but doc,

doctor: wiggles

pagliacci: oh. haha. i thought-

doctor: i’ll write the name down. there’s another clown in town too, but you can skip it. pagliacci. not funny. bad bad bad bad bad. stupid

1 year ago 2798 399 20 1

It’s cool that humans have been eating bread so long that when we touch a loaf for a moment we can sense ah this is going to be awful bread. Like badgers sensing vibrations underground through their claws.

1 year ago 10430 1073 168 41

It should be spelled hock

1 year ago 0 0 0 0
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Report: No, Really, TSA To Require Real ID This Year

Report: No, Really, TSA To Require Real ID This Year

Report: No, Really, TSA To Require Real ID This Year
theonion.com/report-no-re...

1 year ago 3832 272 37 23
Animated character The Highwayman from the show Over the Garden Wall. Closeup of his face staring into the camera, giving a distorted, fisheye effect.

Animated character The Highwayman from the show Over the Garden Wall. Closeup of his face staring into the camera, giving a distorted, fisheye effect.

Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob. A closeup of his frowning face giving a distorted fisheye effect.

Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob. A closeup of his frowning face giving a distorted fisheye effect.

Rly makes you think

1 year ago 1 0 0 0

Fear not! He now watches over all of us, outside, from his floating moss kingdom.

1 year ago 247 36 11 2
Drawing of a yellow lemon pig holding a penny for luck.

Drawing of a yellow lemon pig holding a penny for luck.

2025

1 year ago 2111 701 6 2
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Happy Lemon Pig Season to those who celebrate. I imbued my lemon pig (left) with cute vibes, guaranteeing those who gaze into her clove eyes a safe and reduced-anxiety 2025.

1 year ago 2 0 0 0
lemon pig. fresh. clean. happy.

lemon pig. fresh. clean. happy.

lemon pig close up on the face. unbothered. moisturized.

lemon pig close up on the face. unbothered. moisturized.

lemon pig one year later. withered. problematic. being a loyal servant has taken a HEAVY toll.

lemon pig one year later. withered. problematic. being a loyal servant has taken a HEAVY toll.

close up on lemon pig face one year later. coin is still in its mouth, though its lips are dry and curled back in a grimace as it fights through the agony of living far too long past its natural lifespan.

close up on lemon pig face one year later. coin is still in its mouth, though its lips are dry and curled back in a grimace as it fights through the agony of living far too long past its natural lifespan.

lemon pig of 2024 before and after absorbing all my bad luck over the calendar year like a fucked up little yellow dorian grey. it is nearly time to rest, my faithful child.

1 year ago 5575 878 174 122
Here’s what I do know: Sweet reddish gray squirrel says hi and happy new year from Arlington! Apologies to Chloe Fineman.

Here’s what I do know: Sweet reddish gray squirrel says hi and happy new year from Arlington! Apologies to Chloe Fineman.

“Hey, Sqrl!” “Sqrrrl!” (I do not know the name of ziss Sqrl…) #sqrlpix

1 year ago 414 27 15 2

I am going to be pronouncing 2025 so it sounds like an estimate with a hyphen in the middle.

1 year ago 92 16 7 0

There are some things you should not ever have to buy. Like rubber bands should just appear around my apartment, gifts from the house sprites.

1 year ago 371 11 17 8

Just watched The Lighthouse for the first time and I’m ok with that being the only time

1 year ago 0 0 0 0
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a black and white cat is crying and covering its face with its paws . ALT: a black and white cat is crying and covering its face with its paws .

Robin Williams’ performance in Mrs. Doubtfire

1 year ago 1 0 0 0

elf eyes elfize elf lies

1 year ago 70 9 1 0

“Your Grace” (like in House of the Dragon) also isn’t too bad

1 year ago 2 0 0 0
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a group of men are kneeling in front of a screen that says [ adult swim ] ALT: a group of men are kneeling in front of a screen that says [ adult swim ]

O Deevee, I wish you were my son

1 year ago 0 0 0 0
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Happy holidays

1 year ago 367 60 5 3

This bag is absolutely BEGGIN for the biggest pile of apples and arnjes you ever seen

1 year ago 0 0 0 0
Screenshot of the wikipedia page for Merychippus, a proto-horse that lived in North America 15.97-5.33 million years ago. It had three toes on each foot.

Screenshot of the wikipedia page for Merychippus, a proto-horse that lived in North America 15.97-5.33 million years ago. It had three toes on each foot.

Merychippus everyone 🎄🐎

1 year ago 5039 2199 29 29
1 year ago 634 33 5 1
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seasons greasons everyone

1 year ago 6973 3166 48 28
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1 year ago 2340 276 31 7
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