Sorry, I thought this was a picture of me as a doctor.

This is never going to get old for me

I'm going to laugh about this for the rest of my life

Me, an atheist: Your holiness I stand ready to join the crusade against these heretics

Sweet baby Jesus that looks amazing

Listen, if you're watching me eat noodles, I'm gonna make it a show.

I didn't say it would be a good show.

Please enjoy this glimpse into my marriage. 💜

John: "I never really thought of Weird Al as having goofy hair. Maybe when he still had the mustache."
Me: "I'm sorry, you think the facial hair is the weird part of Weird Al?"
John: "I'm just saying without it, he looks normal."

That’s all Folks

i have just gotten off a productive call with sauron where i laid out our requests

- nazgul bodycams
- morgul knife must remain sheathed unless suspect is determined to be carrying the one ring
- shelob will be the new point of contact

Just popping in! Lol

This is a perfect opinion, and I have no notes.

"You have enslaved him. You have placed Fester under some strange sexual spell. I respect that. But please… You have gone too far. You have married Fester, you have destroyed his spirit, you have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But, Debbie…pastels?"

So, we are sad and tired and trying very hard. But our little zoo certainly keeps our spirits up. 💜

A woman in Halloween pajamas holds a tortoiseshell cat. The cat is watching a video of clownfish swimming on a cell phone in front of her. The woman is smiling and weeping.

Finally, here's Salty enjoying our evening routine. Climb in bed, yell at mom, make lap circles until mom plays Clowns in a Nem 1 hour on phone, hold hands, go sleep. I cry every time.

The orange and white cat lays listless, staring vacantly into space from the top of a wardrobe.

There was stuff up here, but she knocked it all down to film her own My Immortal music video.

An orange and white cat sits on a bed, staring intently into the camera, pupils huge. You cannot see it in the photo, but her chest is wet from dipping her entire upper body into the water bowl.

Tuna Fish is her usual wild self. Still scaling walls and knocking shit over. She is Baby, Destroyer of Things.

A grey tabby cat, one arm outstretched, sleeps draped over the chest of his person. A hand scritches his head while he snoozes.

Here's Pudding Cup, by the way. He has well-adjusted to life on the inside, gets almost as many cookies as he asks for, and is a big snug.

He's got Pancake vibes, I think. He's a really sweet boy who nearly sat in my lap today. After Pudding Cup avoided pets for nearly a year when he lived outside, it's nice to make friends quickly.

A screenshot of a phone memo bullet list titled "Porch Cat Names." "Pork Chop," "Pudding Cup," and "Potato Chip" are crossed out. "Pickled Cucumber" is crossed out with a note reading, "an opossum." The names "Pie Crust," "Popcorn," "Peach Cobbler," "Pancake," "Pate Choux," "Punkin Chunkin," and "Philly Cheesesteak" remain unassigned. The final entry on the list is crossed out and reads, "Greta Garbo, only for a raccoon. Actually, every raccoon."

We name all the neighborhood kitties who visit the porch PC names - no, not like that. Short for Porch Cat. And then we give them another, food-related name, that's long for PC.

A black and white cow-spotted cat stands on a porch, his tongue sticking out as he licks his lips.

I'm sad and tired all the time. I think we all are. Anyway, here's one of my neighbor's cats who shows up for treats every day now. I love him.

🥴

Everyone's got pitches for what Colbert can do next, but I'm holding out for a Silmarillion read-along podcast.

Zohran: Imagine living in a city where you can afford your rent, your groceries and even a meal at a restaurant now and then without much stress

Eric Adams: Imagine a platypus so powerful that it could destroy the city. We need more cops

my kingdom to be tolerated for one (1) pet on her precious head

A video of clownfish swimming in an anemone plays on a cell phone in the background. A tortoiseshell cat rests her paw on a person's barely visible hand.

A video of clownfish swimming in an anemone plays on a cell phone in the background. A tortoiseshell cat lays in front of the phone as a person scratches the side of her head.

A video of clownfish swimming in an anemone plays on a cell phone in the background. A tortoiseshell cat is asleep in front of the phone.

Every night, Salty sits next to me in bed and SCREAMS until I play "clownfish in a nem 1 hour" on my phone, and hold her hand and scratch her chin until she falls asleep.

Silver Springs Live May 1997 on repeat club reporting for duty

Stevie is murdering Lindsey on stage, again, and Mick is over her shoulder just

Screenshot of a text between me and caption client: Me: "um, Regina V. Wilde would be a killer drag name????" Client: "Actually yeah it would LOL"

Meanwhile, at my video captioning job.

Captions for "Unhinged Trials of Oscar Wilde" up soon!

An orange and white cat is partially curled up, with her back legs stretched out to meet her front legs. Her front paws are crossed. She is laying on a fluffy white blanket. Her head is slightly raised, eyes partially open, and she is glaring at the photographer from the side of her eye.

Tuna Fish knows nothing of jobs or contracts or "laws," whatever the hell those are.

This entire year has been just... so much.

Left my legal transcription contract last week after they implemented a new job role and pay structure (read: my rate was cut by 40% because AI).

If you need transcription or captioning done on something you're producing, please reach out!

Eagles truthers gonna have a field day with this

'Bout a sky of blue! Or tea for two!

This one is actually a frequent brain play for me