that second guy has been out there for years. he likes to get into the faces of young women who have to pass him & tries to get a rise out of them. the rancid perv vibes are indescribable.

i miss my yogurt

hi, can anyone tell me why I just rinsed off my yogurt? not my yogurt container! my yogurt. like there was a spot of something on my yogurt & I was like “hmm better hit this with some faucet water under full pressure”

they’ve made some Choices about how they split up the produce. i’m afraid i probably have weeks of acclimation hostility to overcome before i can be objective here

a WEEK OLD trader joe’s, because your girl needs some real spice

consensually bringing my own actual human body to shop at trader joe’s the day before a blizzard just to feel something

there it is, folks. henry’s finest trick

we’ve reached the point of winter break malaise wherein i start lifting henry’s lip & blowing on his teeth so his mouth does this when i let go

Carina's the BEST! They made SEA LEGS look amazing!!

putting my deepest dorkitudes on blast I see

sea legs is jojo, overboard is one piece. conspiracy confirmed. canon.

HUGE if true

been neck deep in scriptwriting for the sea legs sequel; went on google maps to see if i could find the hotel in venezuela that my folks & i lived in for a few months. i did, hotel savoia is actually still around, which, wild. however, there’s something extremely important happening south of it??

it’s short for BaBy Cow

BBC is actually short for BarBeCue

if you are curious about said childhood disgraces: i received two copies of the tape from two relatives & got too excited & took the cellophane off them, rendering them both unreturnable. your girl ruined christmas

pete rocks.

pete’s never seen A Muppet Christmas Carol. i have a storied, raw set of christmas memories surrounding this film (on VHS, complexities around which once earned me huge childhood disgrace with my family); i talked him into watching. right around when rizzo smooches gonzo he said “this shit rules.”

no one’s more demonstrably aware that you choose kindness every day than your sometimes-unruly rescue dog.

it’s like thank you so much franklin but my lived experience actually is centered entirely in my brain

the quote “we have nothing to fear but fear itself” has always been really confusing to me. like yeah dude, fear is pretty scary! people don’t love it! it’s actually like a whole thing

that very special moment in every girl’s life where you can’t find the pill you put in your pocket earlier because there are too many potato chip crumbs in there

i read a review of Hamnet that described it as “mumblecore shakespeare” & while i believe this was intended in a derogatory way, i am now extremely listening

additional life update: the halloumi was TERRIBLE

pete grew a tiny little beard & it has me spooked like an actual literal baby. i’m now routinely spotting him coming out of the kitchen or something & experiencing a brief WHO IS THIS MAN IN MY HOUSE moment of panic in my little failing lizard brain.

that’s us!!!!

look…. it’s just what my face does.

to be clear, a lot of times it really IS just what my face does, but i also feel like, by establishing this precedent, i’ve recently gotten away with a significant number of very visible & inconvenient emotions by saying “that’s just what my face does”

mantra: when i make my own soup i can do whatever i want

life update: they have halloumi