did my best to answer keith's q for @mattmartell.fangraphs.com's mailbag

Mike Trout hit that home run so high and so far that, from the pressbox, I lost track of it in the air and didn't see it land. If you told me it left the Stadium, I would've believed you.

No popup that would've been called an infield fly in a non-infield-fly situation should ever be officially scored as a hit if it isn't caught.

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.

It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

Everyone is going to be talking about Konnor Griffin's RBI double, but can we acknowledge how ridiculously fast he scored from second on Jared Triolo's single to RF?

Aaron Boone let David Bednar throw 40 pitches in the Yankees’ sixth game of the season. He got the 4-out save, but man, that was dicey.

Bad send there by Tim Leiper. With nobody out, there's no need to risk an out at the plate when you would've had runners on 2nd and 3rd and Bichette up.

I wonder how risk averse players will be to use their 2nd challenge in the middle innings.

The Pirates had a runner on 2B with 1 out when Bryan Reynolds took 2 called strikes, one for strike 3, that were clearly balls. He didn't challenge. This after Oneil Cruz lost a challenge to begin the inning.

Carmen Mlodzinski has now made Francisco Lindor, Juan Soto and Bo Bichette look silly in their two trips to the plate today. They've combined to go 0-for-6 with six swinging strikeouts against him.

Not the ideal location for that pitch. Brandon Lowe now has 3 HR on the season.

God, the Pirates are terrible defensively

Poor Pirates defense strikes again. Third baseman Nick Gonzales whiffs at a hard line drive hit right at him off the bat of Luis Robert Jr.

Officially scored as a hit — because of course it was — but it should've been caught. Robert comes around to score: Tie game.

Might be the greatest opening paragraph of anything ever.

Everybody wish Old Man @baumann.bsky.social a happy birthday!

I wrote about Paul Skenes, Oneil Cruz’s bad defensive day, and why this season still might be different for the Pirates

yeah Matt wtf

Melanie newman talking in front of a guy whose shirset says ALL NIGHT with number 69

shoutout to my guy in the ALL NIGHT shirsey here

yelling "everybody's safe" during a pirates-mets game has never once been true

Brandon Lowe just hit the most popup-to-1B home run I've ever seen. The Freddy Peralta era in Queens is off to a great start. Pirates lead 2-0

I hope so

Wait, Marty is in THE MANDALORIAN AND GROGU?

That's an incredible story from Barry Bonds

Fuck.

I would watch the Criterion Channel one.

"Guest: Robert D. Manfred, Jr."

It's baffling to me that Casey Schmitt is playing 1B and Luis Arraez is at 2B. I know why, but also, why?

Cool

“what kind of umpire are you?”

Idk man, I think the bare minimum for broadcasting a baseball game is to have the camera follow the ball in play.

But guys, just wait till Rob Manfred joins the booth later in the game!

Look, I love the Eagles, but what was that bizarre transition from Bert Kreischer's shouting to the "Life in the Fast Lane" riff to the national anthem introduction?