I can still access it on mobile data. I'm living in borrowed time! Every moment is a gift! I'VE NEVER FELT MORE FREE

On my work wifi. Of course, that's also based on Mississippi, OR SO I THINK.

Let's see what happens...

Unfortunately.

But I read this... ON Bluesky?

Waiting for my lights to suddenly shut off like the night TikTok died.

Captain America.

(Or, Brave New World.)

Green!

Aw, damn.

Oh wait, sweet!

Dude, I think you need to take your heat related injury to the doctor because that is a sick burn.

Oh no I just downloaded Balatro after a year of resisting I'm sorry say goodbye to my family

"So far so good, but the day is young."

Alternative option:

"Be glad I responded at all."

Not usually.

YOUR new article? I had no idea. That's awesome!

Correction:

"I could fit at least three and a half of her inside me."

"I could fit at least two and a half of her in me."

Took me a little bit to realize you were talking about football. (Most likely.)

To be fair... we were all gonna die anyway. This just will change how exactly. So. Ya know. *heavy sigh*

Somehow... it got better.

OMG

Did he cum silly string? Yarn?

Something something do it animal style.

Feeder? Not really. But enjoyer of oddly sexualized branding? Yes! Must be the capitalist in me.

It's why that sexy Ronald McDonald cosplayer does something for me. Or maybe I'm just into clowns? More research needed.

(These are beautiful shots, BTW, always a stunner.)

I need to follow more people. How do I find more people? How did I build my Twitter feed? I don't remember. It was 84 years ago.

Wait. I get Satine content and merch AND get to feed pigeons? I'm in.

Oh it's back BYEeee

(See, without Twitter, I stopped having an outlet to yell my thoughts and funnyisms into the void and pretend people cared. So maybe I can fill that hole again )

Overheard at last night's party:

"Can we do a ouija board?"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

"I'm black. 🤷‍♀️"

How fitting that this is the video that TRIED to load when I first saw the message.

*stumbles out of bed*

What? Who's speaking?