There’s still time!

Roman Reigns is the Jay Leno of wrestling. Undeniable longevity and stats, zero cultural impact, made no one feel anything ever

No one ends a wrestlemania with a wet fart quite like Roman Reigns

Sorry just woke up from a stroke, did John Cena just point at a newly announced pregnant woman and yell “everyone’s focused on this box right here”? #wrestlemania

The largest boo of the night so far at this WrestleMania Party: Stephen A. Smith. Good crew here

The first match has not begun and we already got a sincere and sad “this sucks” from a guy at the party, it’s WRESTLEMANIA BABYYY

Not to be a conspiracy theorist but I just don’t believe an Italian guy in the 1400s was named “Christopher”

SubwayTakes never links to their guest in social media or even says their name so it seems like a really good way for a lot of people to get together and help one guy get famous for almost nothing in return. Great business model, I guess!

Condom branding is too ambitious. “Ecstasy.” “Elite.” Let’s get real. Release Trojan “Pretty Good For A Weeknight.” Skyn “At Least It’s Responsible”

Boog Sciambi: (makes fun of Marcell Ozuna winning a gold glove somehow — good!)

Boog Sciambi 3 seconds later: “I mean I love Ozuna as a character and a guy” uhhhh what part, Boog, the domestics or the DUIs

🙏 haha

Hey thanks so much! Hoping to lock down an Asheville return date shortly actually

Anyway come see me in Florida later this month lol

Been this way for a while, but one thing is that anyone who has supported *this* — any of it, all of it — shouldn’t be taken seriously, or respected, ever again, in any of the ways. As friend, family, etc. Crumple ‘em up & toss ‘em. You’ll have so much more time. Until we’re all out of it, at least

Our coffee sizes are tall, large, 20 and 30. Yeah the guy who invented scoring in tennis did this. He was rightfully executed shortly after

Great question. Tough when it’s like, posthumous

Sure but can their country lose a war they say they’re not doing while kidnapping a bunch of parents trying to walk their kids to school? Some of us are just built different 😎

My subway take is your sports team name shouldn’t just be a thing a real human can be. Bears, Lions, Seahawks, cool. Patriots, no. What do you mean your team is just guys who like America? Get lost

Happy April Fool’s Day! Remember, simply lying doesn’t make something a “joke”

ICE is all over LaGuardia and can confirm, wandering around doing nothing while wearing a video game tactical vest is at an all time high. Off the charts meandering pretend soldier stuff

Lol it’s actually WORSE

Who says Democrats don’t know how to meet the moment

UConn v. UCLA may have been a second round game, but Cronin v. Calhoun is an absolute all time dream matchup of bald dickheads. Two men who look and act like penises. Game of the century in that way

All brown and black suitcases about to be confiscated

Heads up guys, LinkedIn wants you to know someone you’ve never met commented on some else you’ve never met’s post. Just wanted to make sure you didn’t miss it

Saw a video that said “Kevin Hart breaks up fight between Logan Paul and Gronk” and, buddy, no one’s ever clicked on anything less. Clicking ceased to exist. The void of clicking

The Bachelor franchise is the easiest job in the world — you could do what they did exactly in 2011 and it works, but the dumbest/worst people in all showbiz somehow are in charge. Everyone knew this sucked from day 1! These producers were born on 3rd base and somehow got thrown out running to 2nd

Team USA under fire after bringing “Guy Who Took That Photograph of Maduro Blindfolded” into the clubhouse to hype them up before the WBC Finals

An overconfident Team USA getting embarrassed by a much smaller country in front of a global audience is their last and most beautiful tribute to the American military yet

Mark DeRosa thinks this is still a best of 3