Nathan Fielder on the Mets Jumbotron looking miserable

Honey I Shrunk the Chopped Unc

Time, mister,, alt, man, is it really that, time, again?

I will get sick if I eat this 😢

me and the boys on the USS Abraham Lincoln eating boiled boot leather and sharing stories about the most Realistic Pussy we've ever seen

this morning, mamdani’s team got in touch with me to float a new tax proposal: if your net worth exceeds $5 million and you dress badly, you’ll be hit with a 10% annual levy for “visual pollution.” i would be in charge of deciding if the outfits are bad.

Print ad: Epyx Fast Load Cartridge. Source: Compute!'s Gazette, February 1985.

POV: You're tired of waiting forever for your programs to load.

Two panel comic. Panel 1: a digital kiosk at the entrance of a parking garage with a dispensed ticket. The screen display reads: PLEASE TAKE TICKET BELOW. Panel 2: a T-Rex is sticking its little arm out the window of its partially opened car door, trying to reach the ticket.

to me the pitt is a love letter to new york city – a town it lovingly accepts, warts and all. in a sense, new york is almost the show's main character

alvin and the chipmunks 21st century schizoid man

It seems even those who sail the seven seas want nothing to do with this interview/documentary... I have an outstanding request but it may not be filled... You probably found the one single torrent that nobody has seeded in a long time. RIP

I threaten civilization all the time and no one gives a fuck

Seeing if I can get this. Will reply again later.

under trump 1 i came to appreciate why nixon made hunter thompson insane with rage. under trump 2 i'm coming to terms with what it must have been like when reagan was sundowning on tv

Reuters Hundreds of Tomahawk missiles fired on Iran, alarming some at the Pentagon

Pentagon reports Pentagon's behavior is really starting to freak out the Pentagon

old illustration of Renaissance guys using bulbs to mix liquids

another like, medieval guy using a bulb in an experiment

onions are bulbs

Bulbs had been around for years before the invention of the "light bulb". Half the work was already done. Edison's "big idea" was simply to put light inside of the bulb

your sons and daughters died in the heroic effort to recover those sunk costs

In comedy, there's a "rule of three". That's why there's "three" Stooges, and not, say, 1,000,000.

RIP sora

wait for it

SHIN GODZILLA: [blasting an entire city in half with a laser beam]

ME: [weeping] hes so lonely...

Currently begging IT to send me a new laptop because mine completely froze up a few minutes ago on account of being so slow. Unfortunately the classic IT Curse has occurred where, after they remote in, the PC immediately runs faster and isn't having the problem.

COWORKER: you busy?
ME: [looking at google images of lasagna] yes

Phone less convenient in every way and furthermore it is for babies. You always see babies poking away at phones and tablets. A baby is never on the computer

Depeche Mode if they worked an office job:

Haven't heard back from you since my last email! Just wanted to reach out and touch base

Paper of Record btw

Before: Amid a war with Iran, rising gas prices and a government shutdown, the president detoured on a trip to Memphis to visit the king of rock’s mansion. After: President Trump mused about whether he could beat Elvis Presley in a fistfight and used a golden Sharpie to sign a replica of one of the singer’s guitars.

Change in Abstract

oh shit oh fuck I don't have nearly enough Robux to bribe these ICE agents.