Those little brpwn sticks with the tasty paint...

Barney lovingly stares at you (with his right eye) while simultaneously tracking the cat sneaking through the living room (with his left eye). Not sure if that's chihuahua or chameleon DNA...

A vicious and notorious attacker of boots, especially while being worn by the owner, disguised as a cute, small dog.

Post the best picture you have ever taken of your pet (if you feel like it) :

Leave it, Mary, he's not worth it!

Or Spam? A Spamwich dispenser would be nice..

The Little Multicoloured Swapshop of Horrors.

That being said..... there was a lovely dark mild on draft at the Fell, Manchester, this evening. At least, there was until the gaming group emptied the barrel. Is mild on the return?

Wait until the jaw drop, when the crows take out your demon in 1 roll!

Can the first TikTok be a compilation of Dirk asking for Mild at various pubs (and the accompanying look of disappointment when they say "No")

Both, obviously! A quick t-shirt change costs 15 seconds a small sacrifice of personal dignity...

And dont forget to put 10p in the moneybox next to phone, after each call...

Surely it'd work in DCC? 😉

Are you raiding Harry's personal stash? Despicable...

Try and stay positive. Dont go to Banbury, cross. (sorry)

Curse of the Bone? (the characters might need some re-working though 😉)

That Mitchell & Webb Look - Bronze Orientation YouTube video by analogmoose

Have you not heard about Bronze?... youtu.be/nyu4u3VZYaQ?...

It's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.

Why, what did she tell you?

I don't know, I didn't listen!

Yup. You, me, Charles & Blythy...

Sorry never got chance to chat, but we'll catch up on 29th?

No, but only cos i no longer own Weebles. (Since they got that court order)

The most fun i got out of Weebles, as a kid, wasn't attempting to get them to 'fall down' (as per the advertising), but was submerging them at bathtime, watching the airbubbles stream from their eye holes, then flicking the 'tears' out, as though they were crying. I was a strange, solitary child....

I call your F1, and raise you...

Yes. Did you ask it "What IS the bloody point?" and it went into a moody Goth downward spiral from there....?

Can I just add?..... PENG!

Comedian Linda Smith

It’s 20 years since Linda Smith left us.

Such a unique comic voice. So dazzling in everything - JAM, Clue, Brief History of Timewasting… effortlessly witty and regularly speaking truth to power (and taking the piss out of Boris seemingly weekly)

I was absolutely gutted and still am to be honest.

I used to do the same. Kate ended up getting an injunction out on me...

I'll get me coat...

One I own, one I do not own...