Yeah, I’m into fitness.

Candid photo of me. #gainer

I fuckin’ love bread and cheese.

Someone could hit on me so hard and I would have no idea. I have sexlexia.

A furry horror movie, but it's basically hot werewolves changing into mid humans and never changing back.

Do eggrolls taste more like eggs or rolls?

Ear wax is blocking my left ear from being able to hear. I guess I'm all right though.

A Hawaiian dude punched me in the mouth and it didn't taste good. Hawaiian Punch lied to me.

How come it's always bifocals and never gayfocals?

FurAffinity has had enough of our bullshit.

I don’t workout #gainer

Your boyfriend is so fat he thought a treadmill was for making flour.

Your husband is so fat he switched from honk shoo to honk chew.

Your partner is so fat they turn chairs into chgrounds.

Your boyfriend is so fat he thinks booths are a medieval torture mechanism.

When Matt gets so fat their full name becomes Mattress.

Your boyfriend is so fat he turns buffets into bulkfets.

Your husband is so fat he gets stretch marks on doorframes.

The first bukkake.

What if when it rained all the cloud’s moisture came out in one huge drop?

Sometimes the cat must scream into the void. #gainer

Back in my day we used to vi sitter i ventrilo and now people don't even och spelar dota.

This man needs more tacos.

Sometimes donuts are a necessity.

Have you heard of our lord and savior, Fat Jesus?

When you don't know what to do in life, try getting fatter.

The most adorable thing possible is when cats cover their face with their little paws.

My gift to all the asexuals today. #internationalasexualityday

I’d be surprised if you hadn’t.