(yes I'm calling myself a *fat arse* in the last bit because I got love handles, thick thighs, bigger boobs + a bit of belly chub once again... Working from home means I see the outside a lot less than I used to)
Reminder to self: "B, you are NOT made out of money. Stop spending, commissioning, doing charity & buying friends gifts like you are"
... Half jokes aside, I regret nothing (so far). I just need to... engage into another finances stretching exercize... Instead of staying fit with actual exercize ๐
The OG question was something I saw on a sticky note at my old uni as part of a research project many years ago & I haven't stopped thinking about it since
I originally thought the answer was "shared experiences", yet the truth is that I just... Don't know. Don't think I ever will (know the answer)
Having the same moral compass? Outlook on life? Political views? Sexual fetishes?
I'm being honest here.
I have no clue how two different people- two different universes, can collide and somehow "connect".
...
Might be getting a bit too philosophical at 1:20am, but...
...What does it mean, to have a connection? What does it entail?
Is it liking the same things, fandoms, ships, music, fanfics- trauma bonding...? (the latter is BAD)
Is it matching personalities? Experiences? Getting one-another? Caring?
I already had severe trust issues when it came to people & relationships. They've only served to worsen them. Might partially become the reason I end up alone... Who do you even open up to anymore when you've been wounded & your trust's been betrayed so deeply? Relationships seem impossible... ๐ฎโ๐จ๐
I still don't get why they don't have me blocked everywhere. It's not like I'll oust them for all the ๐ฉ they said & did to me by doxxing/name-dropping them the moment they turn their back. I've always only talked about them & their abuse in an anon. way as a cautionary tale. Tired of it too, tbh...
Here is hoping that the ๐ฉ ex that still hates me has stopped lurking on my socials... *sighs*
If not, they need a healthier hobby than mulling over the past
I take years to process emotional & mental damage, so I don't really get a choice in the matter- but if they are able to move on, they should.
Appreciate the hug and kind words. Thank you ๐ซ
& yes, I've been crying while typing this up. Not full-on ugly crying. Just a few, honest tears. Maybe my way of "celebrating" this week is allowing myself to feel all these negative feelings I've been piling under a rug, pretending they don't exist... all this cumulative tiredness. The ache in my ๐ค
I have effectively given up, but that doesn't mean that being alone gets that much easier... Sure, on most days I'm okay & used to it- or even manage to enjoy my own company... but, truth be told, I've been strong & independent for far too long. I still yearn for what I cannot have. I can't help it.
I would say happy lesbian visibility week, but I'd be lying.
I feel invisible, alone, disrespected & disregarded. As a mostly fem-presenting, afab, therian lesbian- I get hit on by men nearly ever day, both on- & offline.
I tried dating apps, social platforms & groups related to my hobbies... Nada
Want...
I wonder if I'll ever get a love letter... I feel like that's just something that happens in fiction. Unless you've known the person for a long time and you are ready to risk it all... It's a dead state of the art when it comes to romance. Too much of a risk to come off as creepy if unrequitted.
Plus they have free snacks and good music at this furmeet I'm at. Can't complain at all :)
Was it worth it...? -> ๐
Got to enjoy / live life too sometimes.
Future me can deal with the aftermath.
#FinanciallyIrresponsibleFurry FTW.
Whoops. I'm in my overdraft for... The first time in my life, I think...? No- the second. -ยฃ1 because of a ยฃ5 forest fruits cider.
ยฏ\_ (ใ) _/ยฏ
(Party on!)
Welcome on board the "it's hard to find people to date" boat. Snacks are free but the alcoholic beverages are overpriced. Can only recommend the peach juice between all the soft drink choices (beware tho, it's addicting!)
( 7+ years of no IRL gf get to your head, eventually...)
Idk if I'm imploding / exploding with lesbian / gay werewolf thirst- or if this is a 2nd round of springtime bullsh*t. I give up.
โค๏ธ๐ข๐บ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ตโ๐ซ
Want to:
- bite
- go feral
- do [censored, censored, censored] with another therian wolf / werewolf lesbian
Need. Want. Jfjgjnnd- (brain shorting ๐ง ๐ฅ)
โจ๐๐บโค๏ธโจ
Bringing back this banger and blast from the past... Can't believe that 11 years have gone by since some of the best tracks I've ever listened to were released.
2015 music, my beloved-
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoLT...
Just got 10 ghost notifications that... Disappeared when I opened the notifs. section.
Is Bsky ok? Or is the AI code it runs on taking hits again? ๐
๐
๐
Why must I suffer so- ๐ฎโ๐จ๐๐๐ค๐ฉธ๐ฉธ๐ฉธ
Lol. That explains everything.
...
I just want love.
And for some reason, my heart still aches.
...what am I to do with a heart that feels too much?
Ah... Yeah. Bad idea to use AI in anything code-related. Hopefully they've learnt their lesson from that ๐
Are they...? I'm out of the loop myself. Last I knew, X / Twitter had added an AI feature that could steal and alter people's art for other people to repost as their own. It doesn't get much worse than that- so I was hoping Bsky would actually grow into a viable alternative...
