Matt Damon playing a 14th century French knight that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mullet. Beard. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and cigarette smoke.

Matt Damon while playing Odysseus who also looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Long, skinny beard. Smells like horseshit, pine tar, and perhaps Mediterranean herbs.

Matt Damon playing a 19th century cowboy that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mustache. Shaggy hair. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and definitely chewing tobacco.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

we all know I have no life, so:

A screenshot of a NYT breaking news headline that says President Trump said he was extending the cease-fire between the US and Iran, which was due to expire within hours.

Almost forgot its TACO Tuesday

Ayeeeeeee

If you don’t think LADIES can win elections maybe LADIES shouldn’t bother voting for you.

New Jersey Target Zero Action Plan 2025 https://dot.nj.gov/targetzero/

4/20/2026: 148 dead on New Jersey roads in 2026 including 51 peds + 3 cyclists, every single one killed, either in or by being hit by a car
148 people dead in 109 days

Pedestrian and cyclist deaths are now up 20% on last year

NJ has a plan
How's it going?

#visionzero #targetzero #bikeped #NJcrash

Walked down the aisle to this version. 👰‍♀️🤵‍♂️

youtu.be/4NZdggNUvq0?...

It’s my god given right to breed litters of kittens so my children can experience the miracle of life and then dump them in a sack in a river, someone probably.

You don’t even have to make it expensive just require them to do some paperwork annually and chip the puppies/kittens. Slap a fine on backyard breeders that aren’t in compliance.

Every morning I drink my coffee and wonder why we don’t have the willpower to solve relatively simple problems in our society. Today is stray cats and dogs. Why can’t we just require all animals to be spayed unless you’re a licensed breeder? Surely that would be better for legit breeders as well?

Idk if this is a bad omen for tomorrow or what but all the skeets tonight are 🔥

Ossoff and Mamdani are showing the way for the Democrats.

Even if they just cut and pasted the approach those two have taken, they'll more than stomp it in at the midterms.

i really wish "children are people and people are not property" was not a radical opinion but unfortunately it's the central question up for debate with much of politics

I've been thinking about the backlash Marie Kondo got and I think part of it was not just that she was saying "buy less shit" she was explicitly say "only buy what actually makes you happy" and in a nation of conspicuous consumption it pissed people off.

We don't have to solve homelessness to have public restrooms. We just have to consider that making people with physical needs, health issues, children, etc. not constently begging for access or being stuck at home worth putting resources too. Everybody Poops, like the kids book says.

Also this was me literally yesterday truing to find the Flyers game.

Did you try Grunt TV? It provides a synergistic viewing experience by aggregating some (but not all) of the channels you crave.

Trail Of Fears One reader is concerned about a proposed infrastructure project.

I genuinely cannot tell if this is satire. open.substack.com/pub/glassbor...

PORTER. MARTONE.

Tooo soon but whew.

Hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaah

Just scared the cat

GOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLL

I begrudgingly signed up for the free trial of Grunt TV or whatever tf app I’m watching the Flyers on right now.

This is how i follow the Phillies when I can’t be bothered to figure out what channel they’re on.

Next they’ll be doing Eagles chants

Everyone has an answer for the great problems of the world but when you say no one should die while driving to work or crossing the street people throw their hands up and wail that nothing could possibly be done to change things.

The 15 pairs of underwear i bring on a week long trip are the least of my problems when packing.