Lime Jello is also allowed, as I understand

I’m interested. Did a PhD to get a research job but of course the job hunting is not going well. Was thinking about pivoting to ux anyway because it’s interesting and I have some ux writing experience

Crime writer Karin Slaughter is one of the best examples of nominative determinism I’ve ever seen. Considering the alternative, I think she made the right choice

Some kind of FantasyXcomputer theme park:
Dragon Drop (ride)
The Witch’s Cursor (ride)
The Bluetooth Mouse House (haunted house?)
Had a name for the lazy river but I forgot, damn it.

What am I missing?

I thought you were serious.

Dad joke.

Make a movie milder

The Night Shift Junior Supervisor of the Rings: The Casual Acquaintanceship of the Ring

BURN

Here be monsters

I’ve checked and how can it be possible that there’s no tea shop in Scotland called the Scone of Scone???

Éowyn killing the witch king of angmar with a sword but instead of her face its miss piggy captions read “you fool. no man can kill me!” “moi is no man.” “hiiiii-yaaaaaa”

i’ve been giggling for the past five minutes

Rattling potteries and suchlike

Earthquake!

AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING ETERNAL POX on the inventor of the drawer freezer.

Maybe Wednesday

Up next, menstruation is illegal

Sophie, a senior tuxedo kitty, between screams

Sophie is a cat who likes to scream at us all day. We’ve figured out that if we cover her with a blanket she’ll go to sleep like a little birdie for up to 9 hours, and it’s a nice quiet time. Problem is that the screams accumulate and she releases them upon her emergence

This moment just captures so much of my experience of living among humans

I think we all know the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song as shown on TV never made sense. If the version as written was too long, they should’ve eliminated the first verse and included the verse that explains why he took a cab from the airport

I’m looking at you, Animal Crossing

Every hair that I pluck from the lower third of my face gets called a sonofabitch as I verify its presence in the tweezers

Alia Ratel in a Wednesday Addams getup in the dark holding an illuminator with a tea light in it looking all mysterious like a straight-up murder witch

Spouse&I worked out the type of witch I’d be based on my love of jars. Not a midwife or fortuneteller. In fact, none of the service pro types, inc. apothecary. But I do love the jars, so I’d have to be mixing potions. But not a poison-seller or assassin bc again, service. So I’d be a murder witch

Sorry, are they making the jester cut that dude’s head off? No jester headgear, but who else has pants of two different colors? Idk

YES

Every optometrist I’ve ever seen has been like Did you know you have a scar on your eyeball? They love that shit.

Dear The Media,
When you talk about people liking social media posts or posts getting likes, you don’t have to put it in quotation marks anymore. We all know what likes are now.

Edward Snowed In

Tag yourself. I’m the Loch Ness Monster, according to internet quiz

Feel like this every day but in a bad way

A model of a Neanderthal male on display at the Natural History Museum in London. He’s giving an absolute FAFO look with a slightly arched eyebrow.

This is like the Neanderthal FAFO look.

Image credit to Will Oliver/PA Images/Getty Images. Retrieved from cnn.com