A gray lop-eared bunny munches on green leaves in a wire cage.

WWX's worried his husband hit his head or something, while LWJ's actively trying to figure out if he's still the husband in this situation, or if that role went to someone else.

"Yes?"

LWJ, trying real hard not to be jealous of himself: Who is he?

WWX: ...

a cartoon cat is sitting on a wooden table with question marks around him ALT: a cartoon cat is sitting on a wooden table with question marks around him

WWX: Hurry up, gege. My husband will be home soon.

LWJ's fingers grip into WWX's thighs. "...Husband?"

WWX: ???

Wangxian affair roleplay, except it never gets very far for some reason.

JFM blinks, nonplussed, as the baby squeals with delight, clapping his pudgy hands together like the constable just made a funny joke.

With a sigh, Nie-xiong deflates - the fire he'd exhibited earlier all but extinguished.

They watch with bated breath as the baby's lips part, mouth opening wide to unleash upon them-

...Laughter?

His fist slams into his desk, startling the baby awake.

JFM sends a prayer to the heavens as the boy's mouth trembles, an ominous sound building in the back of his little throat. Across the table, Constable Nie freezes, caught wide-eyed and chastised.

"Strange?" The man sounds incensed. "That's attempted murder! Neglect at minimum!"

JFM winces internally, praying the aliens don't have a super advanced nanny cam hidden on their son. "Nie xiong, we really don't know-"

"What kind of animal would try to kill a child?!"

"You just found a baby? In your pond?" Constable Nie stares at him in thinly-veiled disbelief.

JFM nods, bouncing the gurgling baby in his arms. "Yeah. Strange, right?"

...Sadly, by the time the school bus arrives, he's yet to come up with a better idea.

So, once A'Li and A'Cheng are safely boarded, he takes his keys, and takes his car, and takes himself and the baby into town.

it do be like this sometimes

Lan Wangji wearing a weimao with a veil holding his guqin with large clouds drifting across the sky

☁️

#魔道祖师 #mdzs

This happens to LWJ and he has to spend an hour in his bedroom decompressing. What do you MEAN he got 4 cards and they're ALL his bf h*lding h*nds with Mianmian???

Some beavers are building a dam, using some sophisticated equipment like roadsigns. One holds a clipboard. Standing atop the dam, a bunny has a small stick which he presents to the beavers. The beaver with the clipboard reviews the stick.

Daily bunny no.3270 just wants to help out

LWJ unwrapping the card at home only to find it's already been opened: Who has DEFACED this COLLECTOR'S ITEM?

Worried Stress GIF ALT: Worried Stress GIF

He takes to whipping it out of his wallet like he's ready to duel whenever anyone asks to see a photo of his husband.

He's very proud of his Wei Ying.🥰

LWJ's coworkers, who now think their boss may be in need of medical help:

(He does eventually get the YLLZ card, too, though considering where WWX hid it, it's miraculous it survived the encounter.😉)

LWJ does not at that moment realise what anguish his dietary restrictions have spared him from, but be assured...he will find out.

Little does he know that someone watches him from the kitchen as he orders.

"Jiejie! He's back again!"

"He must be one of your fans, A-Xian."

"No way, he looks so serious!" WWX laughs. "He must really like the soup. I'll make it extra spicy, just for him!"

Coincidentally, these are the only two he wanted (not that he would ever admit that to anyone. He watched My Dark Master for the plot. The plot!).

All the cards feature special character portraits from his favourite drama, starring heartthrob WWX.

...Unfortunately, by this point he's gotten every single card from the series except two - one featuring WWX as a teen, and one of his demonic master form.

LWJ slowly goes insane ordering non-vegetarian soup he can't eat from Lotus Burgers, in the hopes of obtaining the rare YLLZ WWX card from their latest collab meal.

(He's just like me fr😔)

I'll leave it up to imagination how I came to this conclusion.

I think the Bible overdid it with a plague of locusts. One sufficiently big guy could easily terrorise 100 people, I would imagine.

+No? Oh, that's too bad. I'll just go bother Qiren at the observatory. Maybe he can send an SOS into space. Pray we don't get invaded like some b-grade sci-fi movie!'

People would think he's crazy.

He can't very well show up to the police station, 'Hi Nie-xiong, good weather we're having here! By the way, an alien baby crash landed in my pond - any idea how to contact his parents? +

JFM coos as he spoons some porridge into the baby's mouth, internally uncertain what to do.

What's the protocol for finding a missing child anyway?

Predictably, A'Li is super excited about their new guest. A'Cheng less so, judging by the way he keeps huffing through breakfast and tugging on his sister's sleeve.