Nothing. Finally worked on my 3rd time and it's been a lifelong love affair ever since.

Not smart for an organization that thinks you should never get sick and if you so, you're faking it.
BTDT.

Effin' nincompoop

"I'm for anything conservative until it directly affects me." - Republicans

Unplugging your soundbar and the subwoofer pops; like wtf?

Near-ish lunch time

Gf: Are you hungry or should I shower first?
Me: Go ahead and shower.

Gf then proceeds to stand around talking for 30 minutes at which point I'm starvin' like Marvin but she wants to take that shower now

They say gray hairs add distinction. Unfortunately mine are all in my nose.

Called a restaurant to make reservations and got a recording that said "We will be closed for several weeks due to construction."

Ok but when did you make that recording? Yesterday or 4 weeks ago?

Like a store sign that says back in 20 minutes; did you just leave or will you be back in 1 minute?

Is “build a bunker you’ll never get to hide out in” like “plant a tree you’ll never sit under?”

Andrew, STFU you've done enough damage.

Democrats vow to not do anything about these shitheads in 2 years.

It's my dad's 90th birthday today and that's pretty special since the majority of us never get to have one.

Nut gunna dewit

Pretty fortuitous that she bounced into a hospital.

I guess on the plus side it'll help the flower industry?😟

They say you are what you eat, but I think you also are what you smoke. I'm just being blunt.

Duh.

Duh.

I live in SF and have cruised through Oakland; pile after pile of worthless shit. But there seems to be a human need to hoard/collect anything, no matter it's value.

Tim Dillon needs to come out and say he was wrong about leaning pro MAGA.

Same. Live in SF and heard 3 different languages at Lucky's yesterday. Being exposed to other cultures makes you tolerant.

Fructose corn syrup, why you always high?

Oh knats

I eat a burrito incognito.

Inhaling chemical vapors so you don't huff too.

Like a canned ham or something?

"WHO COULD'VE FORESEEN THIS?" cry the people with the foresight of Mr. Magoo

"WHO COULD'VE FORESEEN THIS?" cry the people with the foresight of Mr. Magoo

You mean the guy that called his son and confessed?

Root for the bad guys if they’re your bad guys.

He’s not rooting for the country. He’s rooting for his team and calling it patriotism.