If you don’t have a niece who absolutely lights up when she sees you, what are you even doing?

Why do you torment me, Delta?

Casual reminder that the myth of “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” is a cruel hoax designed to convince poor people from all walks of life that the injustices they face are a result of their own actions, rather than an oppressive system rigged against them.

Mary, Did You Know? is just a dude mansplaining something that MARY WAS THE FIRST TO KNOW!

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk.

I made this joke; too few people got it.

A guy said we shouldn’t be walking & playing Pokémon Go.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.

I’m “I got tendinitis from playing Pokémon Go too hard” years old.

Which, I admit is very confusing. Am I 13 or 48? Could go either way.

I have a lot of funny thoughts in my head. Do I just annoy my husband with them or post them here where no one sees them?

I miss twitter.

There will be a day when I can listen to Eldest Daughter and not cry. Today is not that day.

Deactivated Facebook for a while. I cleaned up my friend list but I still see hate from my friends’ friends posts and I just cannot.

Treasure the people who root for you.

I’ve dedicated my career to service — first as a CIA Case Officer and federal law enforcement officer, then as a Member of Congress.

Now, I’m running for Governor to continue serving Virginia — because you deserve a leader who will always put our Commonwealth first.

New boundary: this oldest daughter is going to be answering all Googleable questions from her family with "Did you Google it?"

Starbucks’ CEO made 6,666x more than the company's median employee in 2024.

This was the widest CEO-to-Worker pay gap in the entire S&P 500.

Remember this before you order your next pumpkin spice latte.

In the boarding lane for my sixth trip since June 22 and my 36th flight this year.

Hoping to swing by Harvard while sightseeing today!

a cartoon cat with the words keeping it fancy jorge on the bottom Alt: a cartoon cat with the words keeping it fancy jorge on the bottom

Psyched to get to use the Delta lounge at Logan this week.

The post office is a hellmouth. I will not be taking any questions.

My new hyper fixation is jigsaw puzzles. Send help. Or puzzles.

My favorite work days are the ones where I have giant chunks of time to ponder my client’s problems and let my mind just flow with ideas. 🌊

Me: (Looking at pictures from my 30th class reunion) These people are old!!

Well, shoot.

I spent most of today working and weirdly enjoyed it the whole time.

I guess it’s because I have the best boss ever.

If my mind racing counted toward my step total, I’d hit my daily goal by 12:04 a.m.

If you think a golden ballroom is more important than childhood cancer research… I have nothing left to say to you. Please unfollow me.

#pediatriccancer #cancermom

a man wearing glasses and a blue shirt with a picture of a dinosaur Alt: a man wearing glasses and a blue shirt with a picture of a dinosaur saying I don’t feel very good

I’m probably four stomach flus from my goal weight but yesterday I was five so that’s something.

It’s sort of weird how a bunch of wolves thousands of years ago were like “You know what? Yeah! I’m down for domestication.” And all the rest of the wolves missed their chance.

Baby Dolphin Break

a woman with blonde hair is standing in front of a microphone making a sad face . Alt: a woman with blonde hair is standing in front of a microphone making a puzzled face .

I blame my elevens on working in higher ed for 20 years.

In marketing, emotion without action is wasted potential.

Me husband: What do you want for your birthday?

Me: (without hesitation) Three dozen turtles.

She was a bundle of
love and sweetness. The bestest.