3yo asked w, unprompted, "dada do you have 10 penises?" and I don't think I've ever seen W smile bigger

Jk I got nothing for you dude but increasingly fascinating how running is changing my leg shape!!

Squats

I unfollowed a mom friend on Insta for reposting too many unschooling reels and am shaking in my boots anticipating the day she notices

I believe in my heart of hearts I need to go to one of those places where they have scalples and needles and stuff to evict your pimples

Don't worry everyone in advance of a Monday start day I picked my pimples until they became massive scabs 😎

Physio is just paying good money for a tiny woman to do the peoples elbow on my butt cheek

Negotiating taking on the responsibility for ensuring the team has seen heated rivalry

Wild to think about how 3.5 years ago I had my first baby and I am just barely starting to get a personality back now

I should be allowed to pay extra at the rec center to bring a coke zero into the hot tub when my children are being goblins

tempted to ask the run clinic of fellow middle age slow runners if anyone has a good motivating heated rivalry run playlist

I've known my new supervisor for like 7 years and am positive hes equally excited and terrified to be responsible for me 😈

I got offered a new job 👀 it's lower pay and less responsibility👀 rumors are its a chill as hell little team 👀 i cant wait

Tonight my 3yo lovingly called his 1yo sibling "spray cheese girl", he has never encountered spray cheese but the concept compells him

dudes I signed up for a 5k fun run despite not being able to run 5k yet I have officially become a suburbs mom

I fear this tactic would work on w

I can't stop fantasizing about projects to do at the new house. Someone tell me I shouldn't try build my own brick pizza oven outside

I want someone to love me the way Adrian Dix loves his car. "No one’s going to force me to give up my beautiful 2003 Nissan Sentra," he said in Estimates. www.leg.bc.ca/hansard-cont...

all I can hope for is that lentil loaf tastes less like farts than it smells

trying to figure out how to explain to our toddler that if his doggy gets "sick" again not to touch him and to come tell mom and dad 🥺☹️

my beloved dog had a seizure a few nights ago and all his tests came back clear so now we have no idea if it will happen again

Ws latest invention is something I have dubbed Bean 182, where he performs Blink 182 songs in the style of Mr bean. The children delight in it.

Are BO and smelling sweaty the same thing? pls settle a dispute

I have to say something so out of touch and entitled it scares me (IM ANXIOUS THAT THE HOUSEKEEPER WE HIRED WILL THINK WE ARE DIRTY FILTHY GROSS AND RESIGN)

there is much more artistry involved in making heart shaped pancakes than I ever could have imagined

rip to my dreams of a supportive and versatile work shoe

toddler has started having fashion options: rolled out today in a monster truck shirt, monster truck sweater, Spiderman pants, and dinosaur socks.

toddler loves the superbowl. "Everybody wearin helmets! And fallin down!"

Unfortunately I think the hoka loafers are tempting me as a professional woman with plantar faciitis