I started a blog because I needed a place to process more thoughts. Just the act of writing has already been healing.

Just-my-thoughts.blog

After an incident at church, I was asked if I have PTSD. Now, I don't actually think that I do, but I suppose I wouldn't rule it out. But the question concerned me because it communicated that my questions to church leadership may be filtered through that.

I often find myself between two camps of people. This week is one that highlights that. My FB feed is full of people that are relieved and those that are concerned. I will often fact check both sides, and often find misinformation from both.

In a world where it's used against us, many women study theology not because we want to be closer to God, but because we want to be ready to respond when it's used to attack us. We study for our survival.

The church is more interested in their systems and traditions than the people. Their people are suffering, asking for help, and are told no because it messes with their system. This is not of God.

For example, it was a huge debate in Sunday School (late 90s) if it would be ok to wear jeans to church. This wasn't an IFB church. Just your basic Baptist Church.

I grew up on the outskirts of the Bill Gothard movement. I was close enough that I knew it existed, but my parents never joined. So it's always interesting to me when I see similar teachings in my childhood. How much was really him, and how much was evangelical the culture of the 80s?

It's funny how you change over time. As a youth, I would have never considered pursuing a degree in psychology. Now here I am. 42 and loving it.
Turns out my church leaders were wrong and not everything can be solved by praying harder and getting up earlier to read your Bible.