I received a participation trophy from myself today.

I just want to sleep in until after the new year.

I would much, much rather have had a 3am smoke alarm malfunction than an actual fire, but my whole day has been askew and I would vastly prefer neither.

I have to go to work in about half an hour, you guys think I have time to binge all the Insidious movies?

NEVER FORGET:As the price of food continues to climb, those of us on SNAP will have reduced monthly support due to the BBB, people will die of malnutrition and hunger. Food banks are already overrun with people who are starving.

Happy you're out and about today!

Writers imagining their stories before bed to fall asleep:
Fantasy – Ah, adventure
Sci-Fi – Ah, space
Romance - Ah, true love
Horror – Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, monsters
Erotica – Ah, monsters

Anyone wanna date so we can do cute fall things together like eat leaves?

You can't win if you don't play

the male loneliness epidemic was made up by big capitalist alienation to sell you sports betting

i remember getting excited for a notification then realizing it was because i reposted myself

*sighs wistfully* i miss the days i could like my own post and the dopamine list (notifications) would ping me that my post was liked

I'll tell you the truth but never goodbye.

from the diaries of franz kafka

I feel like no matter how much I like someone, they will always eventually get the impression I don't like them, and it is this feeling that suggests I shouldn't ever get close to anybody.

Consider this your daily reminder that you’re adorable and I said so 😘

Bored!!! Cleaning and thinking about tomorrow.

Thinking of trying lead poisoning.

Well now I just feel like a bitch.