always “too much”

we are always, in the end,
“too much”

and at the same time not enough

💔

#autism
#ablesim
#middleground

when there’s disagreement they love to say, You’ll both need to meet in the middle -

But the middle is a place I left in the dust ages ago -

it’s a speck in my rearview on the path I took to lose me

so I could have a few stolen moments among you

Before my autisms once again proved “too much”

“Yes, you are,” replied Toad.

lonely janitor drops his mop w/a clatter & elbowing past stunned onlookers catches the babe like he’s making a game-winning interception

joyful cheers fill the waiting room-
3 sets of eyes lock-
the happy throuple & their newborn become an internet sensation
& even have a sitcom named after ‘em

tfw your break up is in every conceivable way unremarkable yet still manages to feel like the end of the goddamn world

#RSD

I’ve been shamed a lot for being sad - depressed - intense.

But I realized today: a lot of the grief I carry isn’t even mine.

Pls dont shame us for being empaths & couriers of ancestral trauma… our energy & our capacity to hold the grief are needed.
Stop pathologizing the deep thinkers & feelers

slept thru breakfast cried thru lunch

but after that my outlook improved…

lesson learned? sometimes ya gotta give in to the sad.
give RSD its moment in the spotlight and then it will shut the hell up for a while

ty 😭😭😭

weird being way too much & also not enough

…nowhere near enough

never enough to make ‘em stay

you are welcome ANY time of year!! would be so nice to sit by the fire and share stories (or silence) with you 💚💚💚

EDS at midlife means my teeth are all cracking and breaking, rushing to abandon ship like rats on a sinking vessel

😢

Rest in peace, Jose Castro-Rivera
So sorry America failed you 💔

takes one to know one ❤️❤️

the coffee mug never lies: you’re a fucking delight ✨✨✨✨

#loveyourself
#youareamazing

Hahaaa exactly!!!

you kidding me? That one’s easy - the detective’s mom took Tylenol when she was pregnant with him
😘

ofc they want you to think you're your own worst enemy... that turns the spotlight away from their cruelties & failures

you fucking matter and your feelings matter too

❤️

Seeing Autism as Difference, Not Deficit Small talk or straight talk? Autism communication has its own logic—and embracing difference opens the door to empathy. Understanding this can transform empathy and connection.

"If we keep calling autistic communication a 'deficit,' we miss the truth. Autistic ppl don’t lack social skills; we have our own. We connect in ways that make sense within our neurotype, just as other groups do." Dr. Megan Neff; her #SNS panel is in 15 min.

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-...

Books by Niamh Garvey (@niamhgarvey.bsky.social) and Dr Megan Anna Neff are excellent for learning about your own capabilities and needs! Both authors are Autistic.

I'll link to a couple below (I am sure there are other great books, but these are ones I have personally read).

thank you for seeing me ❤️❤️
i hate how much this sucks for girls like us 💔

but what if the problem isn't ME?

what if the problem is the rejecting, not the rejected?

what if... hear me out!... what if ppl were nicer and more inclusive?
in their neighborhoods, in classrooms, in workplaces and families and friend groups

i'd like that. i'm tired of being the odd girl out

and i'm usually that weakling/oddball/weirdo

the one who is undesirable, disposable

it happens over & over & ofc my brain builds a trauma response to this type of event & then when my whole personality is affected, the medical establishment says the problem is me - I'm too sensitive to rejection

like, instantly

no matter how hard I try, or don't try...

they're like pack animals, but worse

they sniff out the weak link and do one of two things:
1. avoid that person, bc associating with them brings their own social standing down
or
2. marginally include the person, but mostly just to bully

and now I'm wondering... was it too much? did I come on too strong?

no, that can't be right
I texted her a handful of times over the course of five months

so maybe we just didn't click?
and I guess that's fine, but it's also the thing: I'm usually the one the other girls don't "click" with

the mom who organized it? she's new. i was one of the first to welcome her family when they moved in, i made sure to be friendly and (i thought!) not weird, and when they had a death in the family, i asked if they needed me to bring over a meal sometime

i thought i was being helpful and friendly

found out yesterday a group of the neighbor moms got together recently, without me

the mom who mentioned it was like, "I thought I was going to see you there?" and I just shook my head stiffly, blood pulsing in my head, RSD screaming inside but outside silent

how could I tell her I wasn't invited

tried to tell a dear old friend abt her microaggressions, made a gentle attempt to carve out space for myself & still keep the friendship...

her response?
"We see this situation differently. And that's okay with me"

Kim this isn't flavors of ice cream it's ableist bullying.
and it's NOT ok with me

a man in a suit and tie with the year 2022 on the bottom right corner ALT: a man in a suit and tie with the year 2022 on the bottom right corner

dunno what got into me but I stood up to 3 ‘friends’ today
2 separate friend groups but same dynamic: I’d let them treat me like I was lucky to tag along

(in truth, I believed that was true)

but today I had a change of ❤️
I said “enough”
quietly, no fuss

felt like Michael Corleone in Godfather I