Let’s make it a good week gay people in my phone

This part in the LDS Church documentary on Netflix where the “infiltrator” journalist shows them what ventriloquy is is absolutely frying me

People who work in HR kinda give me the ick because why are you more interested in protecting corporate America than the average employee? Every time I’ve engaged HR for a problem they’re always so unbelievably disappointing

Tbh he’s not wrong - I’ve won most annoying / chaotic friend like 10 years in a row

NOT THE GEN Z LEE PLEASE

Was flirting with this hot guy from instagram so I responded to him saying he’s single because he’s annoying with “same” and he replied “yah I could see that” like ok damn 😕

Run done, time for a steak dinner

Correct!! I don’t drink soda

Time for a little trail run

I have been enlightened (I drank my first Diet Coke this weekend)

People who never respond on teams and just leave you on read when you’re trying to help THEM piss me off so much

Monochromatic Monday or whatever everyone says

So so so over getting invited to multi-day destination weddings with niche dress codes that require you to buy new suits, plane tickets, rental cars, and airBNBs. It makes me hate the person who’s getting married because how are you that tone deaf?

Building a bomb because I spent 12 hours working on something last night that was shared initially 5 days ago and no one looked at it despite multiple reminders and now people think the base structure isn’t right 🥰

The group chat is talking about hiring more Etsy witches oh I know this week is going to be manic chaos!!

Is it almost Friday? I need a nap already

In the mood to skeet weirdly emotional song lyrics from 2008 like I’m in middle school again

Am I the only one that didn’t know babies can’t drink water?

I love being a guncle so much ❤️

When I say I’m a Justin Bieber fan this is what I mean

In a tank listening to Zara Larson 😭

Obsessed that Spotify lets me play music and podcasts at the same time because my ADHD ass needs overstimulation to relax

Imagine a bunch of us being seal team 6

This is why gay people should be the special forces team

Drinking my morning coffee and thinking about Josh Hutcherson disrespecting me 🥰 today’s going to be a good day

Me responding the same way to your photo 🥰

I see so many “prank” TikToks where people pretend to kidnap a child or offer them candy to entice them further and I just have to say - how are people getting pranked like that? I’d be beating people’s asses and end up in prison. I am not someone to play with like that

Tbh black and white photos will always hit harder than color - I don’t make the rules

I can’t believe we’re expected to have a happy and healthy relationship without such developed, secure, counterparts

Watching women on TikTok make the “testing my husband’s fragile masculinity” videos and it’s just them asking their man to dance to a mainstream pop song in the living room or empty the dishwasher without punching a hole in the wall. Like are y’all okay? How are you not embarrassed posting this?