he put on his pants just like us - one big Raymond Burr leg at a time

nice

all things we now know to be untrue 🥏

If you see this. Quote with a picture of you in glasses.

pretty sure i saw one of those floating around inside integrity on it’s way back from the moon. guessing it belonged to the canadian. they know how to party

at least someone cared

Judging by ancient fables and myths, it's unwise to accept fruit from pretty much anyone.

People ask me all the time for my favorite Onion headline, and there are like 200 of them, but my favorite recent print headline is easily this:

can’t believe the pope hasn’t teamed up with the Power Rangers or anything yet

A great magician could be living in your house and you’d never know

let’s vote for people who have been radicalized by decency

All your straits are belong to us

A quick summary of the artemis ii mission:

launch
cosmic speeds
MOON!
fall to cosmic speeds again
plasma inferno
touchdown
inflatable pants.

and all it leads to Kevin Bacon

☝🏼 this exactly, according to the internet

you’re just saying that because you’re not a rapist

I’ve been in a weird headspace since 1966.

🗽🗽🗽

Signpost on the street with sign that says Kracken Hazard Zone. In case of attack? Go to high ground or inland. The sign has a drawing of a huge tentacle reaching out of the water towards a running human.

i am glad they have good safety signage in the neighborhood

use as much Nesquick as you want nothing matters anymore

and vis-a-versa

Is this post AI?

Single-panel cartoon by Brendan Loper. Scene is a garage, with front view of a car with its bonnet up. The mechanic is telling the owner: "I see the problem right here - we've built our entire society around the internal combustion engine."

be my plus one at this apocalypse

scientists confirm Project Hail Mary is 100% scientifically accurate in its depiction of an alien made of rocks

crazy time for a trip to the moon considering gas prices right now

well put. exactly the same. exciting to see but complicated feelings about it. but man, what a lift off!

I’ve loved us reaching for the stars ever since ma woke us up to watch Armstrong step on the moon on our janky tv set. I’m feeling ambivalent about Artemis and Musk’s involvement, but happy for our astronauts. Gonna pour some whiskey in my Tang tonight. You heard me right

cheated on Connections today. does that make me a bad person?