#MrBotox

So it has (apologies in advance) the whiff of sic about it?

THE POETIC SENSIBILITIES of the nation’s smallest removals companies is a topic rarely discussed. And yet they've all noticed that “man” rhymes with “van”.

WE WERE CRUELLY DENIED a home-grown version of the OJ Ford Bronco chase featuring Mountbatten-Windsor in his Range Rover.

HAVE JUST CAUSED THE GUARDIAN'S WORD WHEEL to fan its flustered face with a copy of its preferred lexicon: the Concise Oxford Prissy Non-Anatomical Dictionary.

It's the hour that my abacus turns back into a pumpkin.

Hahaha! It was kindness to myself primarily, Hugo. I'm far too tired to be totting up tricky decimals.

83.7% agree with you
11.2% disagree with you
5.1% aren't sure

I'd imagine Jeffrey Epstein would now be too mortified to admit he was ever a friend of Peter Mandelson.

Amazing first half. But am counting no chickens just yet. Nor giving them names. Nor knitting them little monogrammed bonnets. #coyi

"The job number." Ye Olde Creative Shoppe | Vol. II, No. VII

Ye Olde Creative Shoppe | Vol. II, No. VI

Ye Olde Creative Shoppe | Vol. II, No. V

"Isn't there anything you could be slipping into your husband's coffee?" "I already am. He is always falling asleep." "Can't you up the dosage a little?"

Ye Olde Creative Shoppe | Vol. II, No. IV

Ye Olde Creative Shoppe | Vol. II, No. III

Ye Olde Creative Shoppe | Vol. II, No. II

I FEEL SUCH A FOOL. I never knew I could specify those. They've been letting me pay for duff ones for years.

Fantastic. Delighted to hear it, Ian!

Aww! I hope Sienna has a fantastic time, Ian.

Thou art most generous in thy praise.

Ye Olde Creative Shoppe | Vol. II, No. I

Ye Olde Creative Shoppe no. 10

Ye Olde Creative Shoppe no. 9

Ye Olde Creative Shoppe no. 8

"Is this really... Greenland?" "Yes, Mr President." "But I thought it would be leafier than this." "No, sir." "Oh. Do you like my crown, though? It's possibly the greatest crown that there's ever..." "Yes, sir. Magnificent, sir."

Ye Olde Creative Shoppe no. 7

Ye Olde Creative Shoppe no. 6

"How would you like that framed, Ms Machado?" "Well, it's for Trump, so goldify the fuck out of it."

Ye Olde Creative Shoppe no. 5