scene:shitty bar. a man in white track suit is basically doing a handstand and kicking two guys at the same time
they dont teach the double donkey kick in ninja school that shit is from the streets
switching teams to Iran when it looks like they're going to win so I don't fuck up my W/L ratio
Im starting a new tech company called The Hobbit we use a powerful computer system to deny health insurance claims
Golan-Globus used to give you 2 million dollars if you could find a new reason for a ninja to do something
thinking of a yoda fleshlight where his mouth is open real wide, big ears to tug on
dont worry there is no such toilet missile
anything you hear about a so-called CIA toilet missile that comes up from the sewer to blow its target to pieces is false
Time Cook is stepping down from the Temporal Chamber to tell us what food trends are popular next year
is this shit even of this realm bro
my grandma doesn't listen to me when I tell her no one says "spunk" or "jism" anymore 🙄
On my new social website if you dont like a post you can make Calvin (from the comic) piss all over the words/images
Large Language Marijuana
my phone: You spent 195 hours in screen this week
me: heh guity as charged
phone judge: he admits it. punishment is I bite his scrotum, to be carried out immediately.
excerpt from The Oral History of CRAZY TOWN:
What's the story behind these famous lyrics?
come m'lady come come m'lady
you're my butterfly, sugar baby
I wrote this song about my sexual lust for The Mothman but it was changed because the studio said society wasn't ready for a gay cryptid couple
you can only circumcise so many babies "the long way" before it catches up with ya
Sorry for any delays if you're flying through Newark...Sean Duffy is allowing everyone onboarded under the Gamer Hiring Program to hotbox the control tower today
Ernest Borgnine as Dominic Santini in AirWolf. He's wearing a Grey AirWolf flightsuit with lots of pockets. In his left hand he carries what looks like a cross between a hospital piss bottle and a tiny gas can that says AirWolf on it. It's full of something potable because Stringfellow Hawke feeds some to Gabrielle who was dying. She does die soon after so maybe it was actually helicopter fluids.
yo let me get a pull off that jug, Dom
sometimes I still hear the howl of the airwolf
calling in to work flummoxed
begged potatoes
Love the smell of a dumpster or bad bathroom. After my wife shit I go in there and say uhnnn it smells SO BAD in here.
scene!
Thanks for listening. I'm working on the libretto for a new piece so you might hear this again somewhere.
Quote: "Barbarian" Time: Members of the society run their clocks five minutes ahead of standard time, which they refer to as "barbarian time".
learning about Skull & Bones clulb
Power is never given, it is always taken.
- Me to my neighbor upset about the cord I plugged in after crawling through a tiny basement window
As a follow-up to the massively popular PEDO MOON, I have made another game: ROADKILL BILL. Engage in the classic struggle of Man vs Nature.
Cum Buddy, TOP ME!
-The Mask (1994) Director's Sexual Edition
my clavier...its temper...
well-tempered claviers seldom make history
otherwise totally identical
companies should make prank versions of their products that don't work very well
ME to dinner guests: More like FAIL ORDER bride heh heh
EKATERINA *in Russian which no one there understands*: ha ha wait until I figure out bitcoin pass word