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Onion.InfoWear: Limited Edition Crossbody Bag

Onion.InfoWear: Limited Edition Crossbody Bag

Help keep quality journalism limping along. store.theonion.com/products/infowars-mashup...

28 minutes ago 342 43 3 3

HUMAN ARTISTS!

Use one piece to convince people to follow you!

1 hour ago 153 24 1 4
Father Teaches Son How To Fly Into Rage Over Completely Inconsequential Bullshit

Father Teaches Son How To Fly Into Rage Over Completely Inconsequential Bullshit

Father Teaches Son How To Fly Into Rage Over Completely Inconsequential Bullshit theonion.com/father-teaches-son-how-t...

58 minutes ago 1111 138 13 22
Nessa tira a gente conhece “Dona Rosilene, é a mãe de Robison, o bebê de chifres”. Vemos uma mulher de cabelos curtos, duas argolas segurando seu bebê.
Ela diz em uma entrevista “meu maior tesouro, nunca me deu trabalho”, o repórter “ele nunca fez nada—“ ela já o corta “um anjo”
Ela continua “as pessoas ficam ‘nossa, tem chifre’ não sei o quê, mas é um bebê como todos os outros”
Quando ela olha pra trás, vê a criança engatinhando no teto e diz “haha lá vai ele”

Nessa tira a gente conhece “Dona Rosilene, é a mãe de Robison, o bebê de chifres”. Vemos uma mulher de cabelos curtos, duas argolas segurando seu bebê. Ela diz em uma entrevista “meu maior tesouro, nunca me deu trabalho”, o repórter “ele nunca fez nada—“ ela já o corta “um anjo” Ela continua “as pessoas ficam ‘nossa, tem chifre’ não sei o quê, mas é um bebê como todos os outros” Quando ela olha pra trás, vê a criança engatinhando no teto e diz “haha lá vai ele”

Dona Rosilene ✨

5 hours ago 1027 181 10 11
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Love this sun powered lizard

1 hour ago 252 58 4 0
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Old one

1 hour ago 324 62 3 1

I miss when I could make fun of Reddit instead of Reddit being one of the maybe three semi useful websites left

3 hours ago 520 39 18 5
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Nuclear-reactor laser programs did achieve their goal of >1 kW output, with the Soviets even reaching 2 kW by pumping a Helium-Xenon mix:
ntrs.nasa.gov/citations/19...
Alternate configurations like an N2-CO2 neutron-excited laser were tested, but the dream was a UF6 gas-core laser.

2 hours ago 11 3 0 0

one required, but sadly enormous, shift in the way americans view things: recovering an understanding that a democratic government is a collective enterprise that should deliver tangible services and benefits to people

2 hours ago 1419 266 15 9

Drinking the blue stuff that gives you mana

3 hours ago 123 12 6 3

i think he has one of my favorite character themes in the game

9 hours ago 840 380 18 4
Disney Promises ‘Star Wars’ Fans A New Era Of Blind Stabs At What They Seemed To Like Before

Disney Promises ‘Star Wars’ Fans A New Era Of Blind Stabs At What They Seemed To Like Before

Disney Promises ‘Star Wars’ Fans A New Era Of Blind Stabs At What They Seemed To Like Before theonion.com/disney-promises-star-war...

2 hours ago 1445 217 15 17

mom said its my turn on the gender

2 hours ago 1 0 0 0

like cashback

2 hours ago 2 0 0 0
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3 hours ago 1481 364 3 4
Info Wars Jim Haggerty holding a gun and crucifix with “is freedom” closed captioning

Info Wars Jim Haggerty holding a gun and crucifix with “is freedom” closed captioning

This is the most American image in history.

4 hours ago 335 14 1 0
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Some ancient treeship doodles

20 hours ago 156 39 3 0
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A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue and Green are cuddled up together, with Green deep in thought and Blue sound asleep.
Green, thinking: I want to kiss your neck and nibble your ears and touch your butt and fluff your tail, and... I want to touch you everywhere at the same time. My body is inefficient.

As Green speaks out nonchalantly, Blue opens one eye, deeply baffled by what he hears.
Green: You make me wish I had tentacles.

A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue and Green are cuddled up together, with Green deep in thought and Blue sound asleep. Green, thinking: I want to kiss your neck and nibble your ears and touch your butt and fluff your tail, and... I want to touch you everywhere at the same time. My body is inefficient. As Green speaks out nonchalantly, Blue opens one eye, deeply baffled by what he hears. Green: You make me wish I had tentacles.

7 hours ago 4858 1106 35 32
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Bunni

Design by @yolky_sin. (Twitter)

5 hours ago 1420 183 7 2
Three-ish panel comic: a pirate uses a telescope to look out onto the water and seems shocked. He yells out, “Captain! You’re not going to believe this!” Out on the water is what appears ostensibly to be a Pizza Hut, but underneath the surface we see the hut is actually attached to the head of a gigantic kraken squid monster.

Three-ish panel comic: a pirate uses a telescope to look out onto the water and seems shocked. He yells out, “Captain! You’re not going to believe this!” Out on the water is what appears ostensibly to be a Pizza Hut, but underneath the surface we see the hut is actually attached to the head of a gigantic kraken squid monster.

Four years ago today, I posted my first beetle moses comic

5 hours ago 4740 679 48 8

i tried to watch a hockey game tonight but had to turn it off pretty quickly. within one minute flat they'd already broken basically every rule of basketball

16 hours ago 1254 145 23 3
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17 hours ago 4279 750 28 17
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JetBlue deletes tweet after they were accused of surveillance pricing ✈️

A company rep says the post was an 'error'

1 day ago 852 164 10 21
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Some moooore bullshiiiiiit.

12 hours ago 1922 206 38 1
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Can’t you have this talk at home

18 hours ago 203 14 3 0
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Doesn't know his own strength

21 hours ago 1314 145 5 0
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Onion.InfoWear: Limited Edition Trucker Hat

Onion.InfoWear: Limited Edition Trucker Hat

Consume until the throbbing subsides. store.theonion.com/products/infonionwars-tr...

21 hours ago 439 28 13 3

could be a video about literally anything

18 hours ago 0 0 0 0

That thing they do in marketing where a website asks if you want to sign up for whatever and the choices are "YES!" and "No, I'm a stupid little baby" I'll go ahead and click the stupid baby button. Nice try but I don't care

20 hours ago 1789 145 27 5

i'd say my dog is smarter than about 15% of billionaires. i know it'd probably be funnier if i said all of them, or 50% of them, or something like that, but i think 15% is realistically closer

19 hours ago 1052 70 15 0