me and the boys on the USS Abraham Lincoln eating boiled boot leather and sharing stories about the most Realistic Pussy we've ever seen

Did you know: There's HD video of Here Comes The Pizza?

can we re-position the gundam to look like it’s blocking an attack from dick allen?

MELANIA: You want me. Out of nowheres. To remind every one. Of my best friend, and child sex monster. Jeffrey Epstein?? (squints evilly)

NATHAN FIELDER: (voice over) The First Lady loved my idea.

BREAKING: Following the American threat of an “Avignon Papacy,” Robert Kennedy has begun a Diet of Worms

one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen

Filmmaking has gotten to a point where we’d ask Jean Claude Van Damme why he’s playing a character named Chuck Douglas who gave up his life as a highly skilled karate mercenary to raise his daughter on an Ohio farm, but back in the day we used to just let him say teem to drieve this corhn to merket

Poorly-framed cell phone pic of an RPG character named Bony Kashiwa saying “Movies need realism! The shake of the camerman’s hands, the instability of the dolly! All of that’s lost in your bright, castrated world of computer graphics!”

despite his history of abusing & endangering stunt doubles I gotta hand it to director Bony on this one.

[Gus Johnson commentating the 1914 assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Sarajevo] Princip, stepping out of the crowd. Princip! PRINCIP. OHHHH. GAVRILO PRINCIP

134-1 lol

Korean MLB advertising with slogan “it’s big ball chunky time”

MLB’s Korean marketing slogan used to be “It’s big ball chunky time”, and I will never stop thinking about it

A computer can never pack a bowl therefore a computer must never make a playlist

coca-cola lurching from christmas ai slop to ripping off the eagles fight song for their march madness ad. it doesn’t matter. none of this matters.

go birds

I was asked to give my thoughts on generative AI usage in games - here they are!

DH rule weakening our combat posture

Venezuela dancing for their pregame hype up. Feels like they missed an opportunity to bring in a habitual liar to hype up the team with a grandiose story of violence

today at the World Metaphors Classic the leader of the USA didn't bother to find out the details of the situation his team was in and blindly assumed they would win a matchup they ended up losing, jeopardizing their long-term standing for no good reason

patriotism re-entering my body the second kyle schwarber drills a 500 foot dinger off the british

HEGSETH: *points to general's ribbon bars* "What'd you get that one for? Fucking your mother?"

GENERAL: *sternly* killing vietnamese children

Each one of those three missiles costs 33% more than the annual budget of the national park where I work.

Can think of nothing more cowardly than pressing a button to shoot a missile that will land dozens or hundreds of miles away. Little bottle of water next to your desk. "Yes sir" and all that shit. Walking around saluting each other. Fucking losers. Killers.

scrawny 18-year-old about to fall out of an army helicopter over tehran: this is so epic. this is totally sigma, right babe?

AI e-girl operated by a balding intelligence officer in virginia: that's right baby, Iran is totally cringe

Dunkin Donuts: Sorry, we’re out of chocolate glazed.

Me: [about to lose it] No Mark, save this feeling. Use it for your art.

Texas catching intercontinental strays damn

the "hockey ball" that hockey fans refer to is hardly a ball at all. the top and bottom have been sliced down, rendering it more of a disc-like projectile, but it typically moves so quickly that few observers ever notice. the remainder is used to manufacture goalie shelters at each end of the rink

(Woody Allen eating a Da Bomb wing on Hot Ones)

WOODY: Boy, that's like dating your first Gentile girl, there's a real sting to it. Wowee, that's hotter than a New York cab in August. Havin' flop sweat like after the Curse of the Jade Scorpion premiere.

SEAN: Was it weird marrying your daughter?

ohhh ‘democracy dies in darkness’ was aspirational