G: “My closest evolutionary relatives also shit on the ground and eat their enemies’ faces. I don’t think we should encourage that sort of thing either.”
S: “Really? I felt a few teeth on my jaw just then…”
Future Grumpy/Sunshine exhange.
G: “I’m all for people being healthy and fulfilled and supported, I just don’t see why they want all this *interaction.”
S: “Because your closest evolutionary relatives are pack animals.”
Not to do this, dammit. I blame the PA railroad.
UNLESS YOU'RE ALREADY INVOLVED IN WHICH CASE THE ANSWER IS BREAKUP AND/OR MURDER.
Meanstwhile, the guy behind me is trying to convince his sister/friend/someone to just give some older guy a chance, and while IDK the actual guy or the grounds, it is taking my willpower to turn around all NO DO NOT "JUST GIVE" ANYONE CHANCES IF YOU HAVE TO ASK THE ANSWER IS NO.
See also my hypothetical policy where, on buying airplane tickets, you can check the I Can Entertain Myself Quietly Like a Grownup box or get the Free Tranquilizer Dart Package.
Oh, man, that would be amazing. Then you'd (and by "you"
I mean "we," since it's even more of a problem in BAHSTAAAAN WOO SOX WOO) would just have to give mandatory sedation to the drunks.
100%. Also, if you hit the speaker button in a public place, you should get a medium-strength electrical shock.
The Global Rule of Izzy would be mostly very relaxed, but super authoritarian about like ten things.
Ha! No relation to a certain occultist and perpetrator of pretentious spelling, but it's a family name (pronounced differently, though--ours rhymes with "cow") and I couldn't resist. ;P
Or split the second one up, so it’s kids/a temporary location for brief calls/What The Fuck Is Wrong With You?
And yes, that should be the section name.
Niche hill that I will absolutely die on: trains need the reverse quiet car ratio that they have now. Every car should be quiet except one for tiny kids and one for people who have to make calls or for some reason want to yakkity yak all the way to Philly.
Also, I've just gotten a fundraising email with the subject "Congress Rejects Republicans' Midnight Nonsense," and, like, good, but also, "Midnight Nonsense" needs to be a novel. Or a band name. Or both.
Ooh, yay!
Contains!
Haunted houses. Weird occult shit. Hot dudes. Dogs. Snakes. ACAB. Shitty "internet reporters". Demons. And a thirty-something heroine who gets in over her head but starts swimming.
My latest novel! Now using a different pseudonym to distinguish between romantasy and romance-horror...romorror? (My housemates and friends say "homance," but I think they're just thinking of me specifically. ;P)
www.netgalley.com/catalog/book...
Ugh. On the one hand, my shrink’s receptionist is trying his best and it’s not his fault he talks like the Zootopia sloth on Valium. On the other, this is why everything needs a “book online” option.
Now you know that practically *everyone* is better than you, because you're a tedious little asshole. Does that help?
The thing about writing romance and only having dated nerds is that sometimes you find yourself having to search "erection in basketball shorts" and it's not like my web history isn't *already* a whole journey, but somehow this one feels weird. (Wahey.)
...and weird shame shit, which makes those kinks even kinkier, q.v. hot priests.
Logically, elves/angels/aliens would have perversions that last years and require the resources of multiple planes of existence.
Which, yes, is how you get Slaanesh. :P
Generally speaking, the more advanced a species is, the freakier it gets, in my very non-specialized understanding of biology. Primates are hornier than most other mammals, mammals are generally hornier than birds, etc, and humans have both developed more kinks...
Similarly, I feel like a lot of both Heaven's Gate-type UFO theory and paranormal/religious stuff assumes higher-dimensional beings don't bang, and it may say a lot about me that I'm like "...why wouldn't they be *even hornier* than humans, though? Like, slutty in ways that we can't even imagine."
"But why--"
"Have you considered that eight percent of dudes in 1948 had banged a farm animal? I'm just saying."
Maybe we just get the small population of aliens that are completely gross pervs.
While I don't really believe in alien abductions, the podcast dude I'm listening to is like "but why on earth would a more advanced species mess around with our junk" and I just think of the His Wife? A Horse guy from fandom_wank.
In retrospect, as usual, I’m amazed my parents never ”accidentally” left me at an Oklahoma rest stop.
Such a good book!
I remember thinking that Nita was way nicer to her folks than I would be: if mine had made me go somewhere For My Own Good (even if it ended up being a really cool place with hot guys), I would have given them an entire summer of silent treatment. On principle.
I came here to say: we had an entire horror franchise about this! He went to spac! Twice!
Meant "*fight* mindflayers, but am on a train and hey, we're open-minded.
Another advantage: many possible "Heward's Mystical Organ" jokes.
On subgenre names:
"Reverse Harem": Culturally appropriative, flattens all MMCs into an anonymous group, has weird ownership stuff.
"Adventuring Party": No appropriation, everyone has their own role to play, makes you think you might get to find mindflayers.
My folks are watching “Riverdale,” which is weird in itself, but weirder because I’m frequently away and miss a bunch. So I see the graduation episode, then a week later I wander into the living room and find out that Jughead is psychic and Cheryl Blossom leads a bee cult.