Calling someone a caveman just because they lived in a cave is silly. Do we call you a house man or an apartment man? How about your mother’s basement man? That’s not who you are, it’s just where you live.

Are you flaunting your love for mixed-fabrics or just wearing a shirt? Keep that same energy with homosexuality.

What’s a hypocritical cracker? Wouldn’t that just be a piece of bread? Something leavened?

I just ran to the store to grab something, didn’t put underwear on. I know I’m the only one who knows, but it feels like everybody does.

We all celebrate different things. Why is your holiday any more important than mine? I get high on weed because it helps me to deal with the people who get high on Jesus. 💨

When someone says that God is working in mysterious ways, they’re really just saying they don’t know what the fuck is going on. And it’s cool, none of us do.

And yet they all worship a guy who couldn’t procure a fig.

I do not love nor do I do God. But if I did do God, it would be purely carnal. And since He’s supposedly metaphysical, that wouldn’t make much sense.

If you’ll threaten to wipe out an entire civilization but won’t release the Epstein files, you don’t care about people.

Somebody hand him Ezekiel 23:20:

“There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”

Like he’s reliving an Epstein Island event. 💦

They said I should mind my own business when I saw someone beating their dog. Then blocked me for asking if they were a Trump supporter. But I was just trying to get to Noem. 🥁

The creator of the entire universe wants you to slice off a little piece of your dick for him? If he’s real, there is something seriously wrong with him. If he’s not, there is something seriously wrong with you. ✂️

When you say that my opinion doesn’t matter because of what the Bible says, you’re saying your opinion is the only one that matters. Because your opinion is that the Bible is true, and my opinion is that it is not.

This is an evangelical Christian. Now guess whether I said the word fuck or cisgender…

They changed the Department of Defense to the Department of War, because their intent is not pure. If their intent was truly pure, we’d call them Social Justice Warriors.

Through the miracles of modern medicine, we can now do penis enlargements. This is in no way a solution. But if used properly, it should lead to a future with less angry and insecure men like Trump.

I am an atheist, and I agree with this message. Do not let yourself be deceived. Outside of the Bible, you will not find Jesus anywhere. 🫳🏼🎤

I don’t believe in your religion because I was hurt by a human? No. I don’t believe in your religion because I was helped by an education.

Stop accusing atheists of having a problem with Jesus. I tend to get along just fine with the Christians who act a little Christlike. I don’t like it when people act like shitty humans and blame it on Jesus. My problem isn’t with Jesus, I just don’t like assholes.

It doesn’t matter how many jokes you make about Joe Rogan, they’ll all go over his head.

Truth means in accordance with fact. Facts can be verified. This is a religious belief. Once a belief is verified, we can call it the truth. But until a belief can be verified, it’s just a belief.

Did Ricky Gervais join Opus Dei? 😳

Why did God feel the need to make a woman for Adam but not for Himself? Is He asexual? That makes God a part of the LGBTQ community!

I bet the MAGAts wouldn’t get it if we called him B-dolf.

Hippocrates was a doctor who probably dressed like Jesus. Maybe Trump was thinking of Hippocrates? I’m joking. That hypocrite wouldn’t even know who Hippocrates was.

🎼 One more time. One more time. One more time. A celebration. You know we're comment just right. Tonight, hey, just feeling. Music's got me feeling the need. Need, yeah. Comment, alright. We’re gonna celebrate, one more comment! 🎼

The language is so manipulative. Why do people run away from Christianity? Why do people run away from Santa Claus? It’s not running away, it’s just no longer seeing a reason to believe.

I will always respect Caitlyn Jenner’s pronouns. I will never respect that bitch. Fuck her.

Why do people think you can’t be gay and Christian? That’s ridiculous. That’s like saying you can’t be gay and believe in Bigfoot. Gay people can believe in silly shit too.

For the record, they couldn’t answer the question…