He can't hold a conversation either rip

Any major retailer and most small ones will refund or replace an item if the package has been stolen

And if I hear you say you're on ring or next door, I'll lose all respect for you as a person

i dont care how many packages you have stolen, if you put a security camera on your home, then you have gone off the deep end

Aka my silly amnesia pills

Ive got to start putting my phone away before I take my sleep meds

Thanks, Grandma. I fight fiercely for what I want, and what I want is to be a good person.

And it's so goddamned hard to let go of things. I fear I'll miss the mug I threw away.

Thanks, grandma. I think sharing a meal is a powerful act of love. And I have a lot of unplugged stuff around my house

I created a false memory that sam waterston died circa 2003.

Like since 03 I thought that he was in the ground. My bad

Does anybody wanna go to Chicago soon? I'll take you to the gay beach and show you my big butt

I was worried that if I let myself stay awash in the pure horniness of it I would have spent hundreds of dollars I didnt have on gear

Last summer I went to a leather shop and I was the only customer there and the muscle bound shop guy helped me try on a little harness and I got so turned on I lost the capacity of speech and mumbled about needing to think about it and fled

Quick, one of my lesbian friends, make a sucking rug joke

No wonder I had strep all the goddamn time growing up

It makes it sort of like. Plasticy and intensely aerated as you're sucking droplets out of the cheap rug. With a touch of dust.

Kids are gross and I remember the special taste of sucking a spilled soda out of the carpet with my little baby mouth

The day after I committed to growing them out I broke 2 nails 🤡

Throwing it back to the mister Roger's neighbor theme

Life is too short not to do gender better than anybody has gendered before

Finally going to get that cunty almond gel manicure

I'm shivering in my cardigan like i'm trying to quit heroine, but I'm actually trying to quit double servings of pancakes

The thing about being a muscle-y himbo is that sometimes I decide to go on a Lil calorie deficit and it sucks because I'm used to eating like Kirby going thru puberty

a black and white edit of an emoji wearing sunglasses and smiling and giving the thumbs up with text that reads "HRT is irreversible? i fuckin' hope so!". there is a vial of estrogen and a vial of testosterone next to the emoji.

taps the sign

Black and white inked illustration with blue and pink accents, of a trans man holding a flag in one hand, in the other a dagger, holding it like about to stab the serpent looking creature surrounding the figure

Happy #transdayofvisibility!! 🏳️‍⚧️‼️

KEEP GOING!!

#tdov #art #oc

Why do all tech ceos look like they've had their eyelids removed?

I'm going to fake my own death

Huff my farts

nickname: mind your own business
pronouns: he/him/they/them
height: 5'1"
sexuality: gay man
smoke: sometimes 🤫
piercings: 11?
tattoos: 16?
color: 💚
fav 🍸: g&t
fav 🥤: sparkling water of any flavor
fav food: 🍜
fav animal: 🦇

Girl at the goth bar told me to stretch my septum by stacking and honestly i owe her my life

there are only two golf balls on the moon, but I hate golf

Im such a party pooper like do you know how many times we've already been to the moon

Do you know how many fucking golf balls are on the moon

Leave her alone