That is amazing!

AI picture of a red candle in the top of a jar of beige goo and a strange segmented potted plant / goblet hybrid.

In this bonus picture we see AI's existential confusion about jars containing... foodstuffs? and jars containing candles, and also the Holy Grail caught in the act of disguising itself as a potted plant.

Picture of a terrible calendar. This one has unreadable day names!

4. Hoo boy. I'm just going to give this my best shot.

2,6,1,3,4,5,D,0,1,18,16,1",7,18,19,12,18,13,10,10,13,12,12,17,12,30,28,24,31,22,25,24,23,23,25,23,24,23,28, THE CLAWS OF OUTRAGED TIME ITSELF BREAK THROUGH THE PAPER.

Better call Mgifit.

Unfortunately, for Mgifit, it is always Vague Blur Day.

AI picture of a terrible calendar. This one is brown.

3. Road. Fix: Set.

1, Mgifit, 3, n, 5, 10, 15, 75, 16, 11, 16, 28, 29, VAGUE BLUR DAY, 2, VAGUE BLUR DAY (CONTINUED), 30 (but in red) 29 (but in red) 251

These people are having terrible trouble with their temporal flow and want Mgifit to fix and set something called the Road to sort it out.

AI picture of a terrible calendar. This one is yellow.

2. Planet 25. They really like 25 here & it is the... Year of the Boneless Malteser?

Pomegranate! 1,2,3,4, NAMELESS DAY OF WOE, 11,5,8,6,7, NAMELESS DAY OF OTHER WOE, 25,25,20,25,20,5.

I think this was created by a child who wants more Christmases in the month & no bones in their Maltesers.

An AI image of a horrible calendar.

And now a thread on the many terrible AI calendars I encountered in the pictures from one (1 ) Etsy listing.

1. The planet of the 12 day month, which probably suffers from a lot of tidal trouble what with the moon zipping about like that.

1, 2, 3, 4, Other 4, 5, 15, 6, 10, 31, nu, 20.

Trust me, terminally online discourse bruffians, you are never going to get everyone aboard the Consensus Bus, destination Everyone Tolerating Self Appointed Thought Leader Will Q. Scottdavebrian.

Bluesky quote post categories in descending order of how much I want to see them:

a) cool or funny thing
b) news (niche but good)
c) news (all encompassing and depressing)
d) AI bro broviating
e) white bloke I have never heard of who has opinions on how we should all be nicer to other wbihnho

I'm not 100% sure that's what he's doing with his constant moody-teenager disagreeableness the way I am about, say, Rahm Emanuel. He could just have got this far on the power of being a white man with a plausible story and appealing to other petulant men.

Maybe he didn't like that Mormons are culturally expected to present themselves as warm and polite, given that his one trick is making people uncomfortable by ignoring social cues and therefore setting off their 'wait, is this person harmlessly weird or a danger to me?' brain reflexes.

I'd say 'because he'd never be a descendant of the people who crossed the Great Plains pushing handcarts and therefore had no chance of becoming head of the church' but actually he would enjoy using that as an excuse to whine about how hard his life is, so who knows.

Sherlock, an overly fluffy cream and white Maine Coon cat, sits in a sun puddle and looks disapproving.

Solidarity in Floof.

(I have left a vast amount out, particularly with regard to the Thomases, but also in that if I had started with how the Catholic Church got into selling indulgences and why a millennium and a bit later Martin Luther was cross about it the thread would be eight times as long)

Anne Boleyn gives birth to a bastard supernatural child in a remote Scottish glen, all the time terrified that Henry VIII will turn up.

All of them died childless.

The throne passed to another dynasty.

Henry's children turned out brilliant, traumatised and convinced of the truth of the Church in three mutually exclusive directions. (The bastard son had died by this point though he did go on to star in a short-lived 2000s vampire detective TV series).

There is no such readily available present day equivalent bonanza and if Elon Musk tells you there is he's been huffing the ink on his children's birth certificates.

It wasn't sustainable but it didn't need to be because Europe had just started importing gold and silver wrenched from the inhabitants of South America.

The dissolution of the monasteries founded an economic boom like Thatcher deregulating the City of London and North Sea Oil put together, which cheered up almost everyone who wasn't a displaced nun or monk.

They will probably tell you all about Richard Hooker because you can't kick a paper bag without turning over an Anglican who loves Richard Hooker. I don't know why.

There were people of deep religious conviction involved in all of this, and you should probably find a church historian and ask them about the hammering out of doctrine and liturgy because it's not my field.

The Thomases were left to come up with what the Anglican Church would be and hope it didn't annoy him. Their work was completed or overturned, depending on who you ask, in the reign of Henry's smartest and most paranoid child, Elizabeth I.

Henry himself didn't want anything much to change about the Church except the name at the top, and was largely successful. He fell off his horse at a tournament and was noticeably meaner and more disinhibited thereafter, which didn't help.

All of this was done by Acts of Parliament. Why did Parliament go along with this? Firstly they were terrified of Henry and secondly if power was being stripped from the abbots and clawed back from the Pope, Parliament was the obvious place for it to flow.

... and finally in a grandiose and manic rush for supremacy a bit like letting an eight-year-old borrow your debit card.

So Henry and the Thomases started chipping away at the Catholic Church's authority in England and Wales, first in an attempt to pressure the Pope and then faster as Henry gradually realised that there was a lot of money either leaving the kingdom or tied up in religious foundations...

He and Catherine should never have, or preferably never did, marry in the first place (because it says so in a different bit of the Bible) so could he and Anne start trying for a son, preferably yesterday.

The pope refused because he was terrified of Catherine's nephew.

What he really wanted from the Pope was reassurance that while he had thought it was ok at the time to marry his dead brother's widow (because it says so in the Bible) he had now realised that he had been interrogating Scripture from the wrong perspective.

The thought of a bigger bully than him, who was also entirely just and universally beloved, and who was supposed to be on Henry's side but might punish him instead... if Henry had Truth Social he would have been up all night posting on it.