No wingers, just defenders.

Player!

Yes, as discussed I want to win lots of cup games & being in the PL makes it much more likely in the future. 🌈

A man with new ideas is a madman, until his ideas triumph.

We’ll win the cup by default if our opponents fall asleep and/or renounce football entirely.

Stressful hell is what I’m aiming for.

I am fielding a team of only defenders & keepers.

That match definitely seems replicable, nowt unusual happened at all.

Somehow I feel like a dismal draw might be even worse for them.

I really, really want to see if this is possible & I think Tottenham (A) is the best match to see if it works.

Steady on there Marcelo Bielsa. Let’s not be too hasty. Draws are totally fine, 44 points & an FA Cup will do me.

Every time any player comes anywhere near our players, they should be instructed to go down holding their head, maximising the opportunity for concussion subs. I want to see every player down with cramp from the 50th minute onwards & as many subs as possible. Ask the Ref to VAR everything too. #lufc

I’m totally up for this, I want to see players legitimately contemplating early retirement & fans tearing up their season tickets in disgust. Just abject, indefensible & wilfully attritional hoofball henceforth. Tell every player that their only objective is to prevent goals at either end. #lufc

Time wasting & dark arts from minute one in every match, dragging out set pieces for as long as humanly possible, passing it across the back & then smashing it upfield if any opponent shows any interest in winning the ball. Just totally prevent football from occurring on any meaningful level. #lufc

Have to doff my cap to Daniel Farke & his players for starting the last few games on the front foot but what I’d like to see us do now is grind out seven of the most soul destroying, anti-football stalemates in the history of football - plus two penalty shoot-out wins in the cup obviously. #lufc

But what could you do as just one man??

Isn't 'Doing a Leeds' being relegated two divisions after a financial meltdown? #lufc en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doing_a...

Half time entertainment?

The football equivalent of those automotive grifters who pretend to have whiplash when someone taps their back bumper at 1mph. #lufc

I didn’t even mention his defensive contribution at set-pieces, including two crucial goal-line clearances in our last two wins that have surely all but kept us up. Obviously Everton have done well this season too but what a player to sign on a free, one of our finest bits of recruitment in years

Like Bogle. Most fans are idiots.

This past week or so we’ve seemingly shaken off our hard fought banter club status but I’m pleased to see that it hasn’t travelled out of West Yorkshire entirely. Last three games have been a truly generational run from the Dog Botherers.

Obviously he’s earning a lot of money in wages but nobody can say he doesn’t deserve it!

Nmecha & Okafor too. All had developed a bit of a reputation as crocks but ultimately they’ve been pivotal to our season & available for an improbable number of games. #lufc

One of those wins that was ultimately so routine that it was eerily redolent of most of our home matches in the last two Championship seasons. Nonetheless absolutely huge in terms of our survival & despite a huge drop off in the second half, everybody did their job admirably well again. #lufc

Always looks badly injured but seldom is. #lufc

Dominic Calvert-Lewin has to go down as one of our best signings in recent years. He’s done as much if not more than any player to keep us up this season. Lead the line, set the tone, worked tirelessly off the ball, scored invaluable goals & has been a model professional. Great lad too. #lufc

You mean Brenmer? #lufc

If one of my players went down for that long after being shoved by Brenden Aaronson I would sub him off & look into cancelling his contract at the earliest opportunity. #lufc

Positively unsporting to have this many players called Gomes & Bueno. #lufc