Can’t stand that tax guy. He’s all, “your money is so small,” and, “I didn’t know they made money that small.”

@ass.golf what was that beverage you used to mention? “Coffo,” I think? Did that ever take off?

Moon didn’t even exist back then

“We’ll find out eventually”

I.. I guess there were always five… kind of hard to say. I keep getting a headache when I look at the photos

What the… five astronauts came out??

If I had been to the moon - which I HAVEN’T; I have NEVER been to the moon NOR been told its terrifying secrets, nor borne witness to what lives inside, if “live” is even an accurate description - but if I had, which again I stress I have NOT, then I would simply deny everything

We should go to the moon sometime. Must be fun if they’re making this big a deal about it.

Oh dang. Well good luck!

An automatic feeder for our cat was one of the best purchases we’ve ever made.

Nintendo abandoned the Mii system in 2017 with the release of the Switch. Maybe something else happened around that time (not sure) but that’s really when we started going downhill as a society

I would definitely get killed by this machine

I’d cry. Unless that’s good

The common third spice that everyone already knows

There should be a third guy,

They eat trash for our benefit. It’s funny to us. We did this to them

Eric? Who am I talking to? Eric burned down twenty years ago this very night!!!

Ryan… who are you talking to? There’s no one else there

Expert say the government is allowed to have a little corruption, as a treat

Dang Nancy! R and S, I can understand. A? Sure. But what did W do!

His name is “Super” Mario Caruthers

Happy to oblige

Very painfully

CAPTION: I have joined the cast of the hit HBO medical drama 'The Pitt' DR ANTHONY: And that's how you perform an emergency recapitation. VARIOUS DOCTORS: Good job, Dr. Anthony What a great doctor Never seen such a good doctor OFFSCREEN DOCTOR (offering handshake): I am proud to be your attending doctor, as well as your friend I respect you (fades out of the dream, showing real Anthony on a stretcher being pushed by EMTs) EMT: Patient swallowed two frisbees. Get the frisbee grabbing machine, stat

Did you all catch my appearance on The Pitt

Market a dipping sauce for hamburgers.

An unstoppable muscle meets an immovable skeleton… truly a mind bender

A St Pius X church sign announcing an SPX Senior Fellowship Event. SPX can also mean Small Press Expo. This is very funny, trust me

To my cartoonist friends: SPX appears to have moved to Indianapolis, to this church, next weekend. Who’s tabling

“This footage was recovered from the scene of the massacre”

What should I use my other two wishes for

I’m also Adrian Chiles!